Sweet and Sour
by Cynical-Banshee
Summary: A place for me to keep the stuff that results when you cross yuri with my wandering thoughts. Both rating and title are subject to change. Prompts are welcome, but no promises! Some chapters contain smut. Chapter 8: Mei hates Christmas
1. Recompense

Chapter 1: Recompense

Mei had learned a long time ago that her mind was her sanctuary.

It had become important early on in her life that she learn to rely on herself. She was never coddled or hand-held in the way many children were throughout adolescence. Growing up as part of the dynasty that was her family, Mei had always known that she was going to be a little different from most people her age. It was only a matter of time, but she had expected to have ample opportunity to prepare herself for the future.

But then her father had backpacked his way across the world, leaving the responsibility of the school on her thin shoulders. And then her grandfather had his stroke. It was things like that which kept reminding Mei that it was important that she remain capable. If not her, then no one else. That was the fact of the matter; either through her own volition or the indiscriminate hand of fate, she had been given full control of her own future and the future of many others at a very young age. So she had to be responsible and reliable. Certainly that was ample motivation…

Even now, as her mind systematically scanned through her fifth sheaf of official documents that night, Mei was careful not to think about what she would rather be doing. Despite the mythology surrounding her character, she was the same as anyone else; she did not enjoy excessive work in the slightest. The invariable truth was that she hated it. Most people would have a few points in their lives where they would be forced to subject themselves to massive amounts of tedious fact checking, hours of guideline reviewing with only an even larger pile of homework to look forward to. But for those people, these were only occasional inconveniences.

They were only cursory excursions into the world that Mei permanently inhabited.

Sighing quietly, Mei slipped her reading glasses off her face and rubbed tiredly at her burning eyes. The deep mahogany of her desk creaked gently as she drummed her fingers across its smooth surface. The living room was mostly dark around her, as she had been working all these hours by the small lamp near her elbow. The nominal light cast wild shadows on the walls, on the shivering shutters over the windows and onto the crevices of Mei's mind.

"Mei?"

The last of the girl's mental barriers dissolved when she heard her name being whispered from across the room. Yuzu was laying on her side on the couch pillows in her pajamas, looking away from the pale glow of the television and at her younger sister. Something about the way she was positioned told Mei that the blonde had been watching her for quite some time before she decided to speak.

Pursing her lips and straightening a stack of papers against the desk, she said, "Yes?"

Yuzu blinked, making it obvious that she had called the girl's name without a particular inquiry in mind. Flushing slightly, she thought for a moment before saying, "I…I don't know. I was just wondering if you're okay."

"I'm fine, Yuzu," Mei sighed back. The blonde was one of the only people in the world who so regularly asked about Mei's well being. It was true that most people thought that she was somehow invincible, that no amount of work or stress or responsibility or isolation would be enough to break her. It was true that this meant no one really asked her questions like 'are you fine' that often.

So it was also true that when Yuzu did ask those questions, Mei had some difficulty with answering honestly.

Yuzu narrowed her eyes, clutching a pillow to her chest. "I don't believe you."

"I don't care," Mei replied blandly, picking up her sixth sheaf of paper. She made sure to avoid eye contact after she spoke, because she knew from experience how easy it was to lose herself in those emerald eyes. It was past one in the morning and she needed to get this done by tomorrow.

Yuzu shrank back into the couch cushions, crossing her bare feet over each other. It seemed that the blonde was always walking the fine line between trying not to anger Mei while simultaneously attempting to help her.

But the consequence of walking between two extremes was that you never achieved one or the other. Yuzu knew this, but usually lacked the gall to risk either. When it came to meticulous choices, Mei was the indisputable champion. But as she watched her younger sister return broodingly to her work, she could only think that Mei looked even more irritated than usual.

"Mei," Yuzu said again, but more urgently this time. She turned down the volume of the television to emphasis her unspoken point.

"What?" Mei snapped back irritably, not even looking up from her work this time.

"Come here."

Mei stared at her sister in disbelief. "Do you not see what I am trying to do here?" she asked, sweeping her arms wide to indicate the mountains of responsibility littering her desk.

"I don't care," Yuzu said this time, crossing her own arms. "Come here. Please, Mei?" she asked, voice taking a pleading turn. "Just for a minute. You need a break, don't you?"

Mei engaged in a staring war with the blonde for a long moment, then finally sighed and set her pen down.

"Fine. But just a minute."

Yuzu flashed a suddenly bright smile, apparently elated by the small victory. "Okay! Come here, Mei," she said, stretching her arms out like she was coaxing a baby. Mei wanted to scoff at the demeaning gesture, but felt her own smile being tugged out instead. She had been a fool to think she was going to get anything done with Yuzu in the room. The girl was literally the antithesis to productivity.

She reached the side of the couch and made to sit down at the end of it, but Yuzu grabbed her hand and tugged Mei towards her. The younger girl found herself falling on her hands so that she hung over the blonde, who was still grinning sheepishly up at her. Rolling her eyes, Mei went ahead and made herself comfortable on top of Yuzu, crawling up the girl's body so she could rest her head against her chest. There was no point in half-assing her forced break.

Yuzu encircled her arms around Mei and hugged her closer, the pillow forgotten on the floor beside them. "There, isn't this better than your work?" she said, running an absentminded finger through Mei's hair.

Mei's eye's fluttered shut at the sudden feeling, curling her thin fingers against the blonde's shirt. Yuzu's body was warm, so much warmer than her own. It made her wonder if her sister was a warm person or if she was just cold by comparison. Either way, she seemed to fall short. The girl's simple, subtle scent, the one Mei could never accurately analogize but always recognized on the spot, wreathed around them and assaulted her defenses. With every stroke of Yuzu's fingers through Mei's air and each rise and fall of her warm chest, she could feel the work on the table drifting farther and farther away…

Yuzu coughed gently above her head, wrenching Mei back to the coarse fabric of reality. Suddenly she felt something very akin to panic; if she gave in here, fell asleep or indulged in Yuzu's affections for any longer, she wasn't going to finish that pile of paper on the table. And she couldn't have that. The way Yuzu had slowly tangled their legs together on the couch, so softly and discreetly that Mei had failed to notice it until now, suddenly felt suffocating and entrapping. It wasn't that Mei hated this; no, she loved the tenderness of moments like this, even if she would never admit it; the bewitching smoothness of Yuzu's skin, the loving sighs she made when Mei kissed her, the ethereal way the world seemed to shrink around them when they were alone together like this, as if nothing else mattered but this girl and the feelings that resided between them.

But her work.

"Yuzu," she whispered, pulling one hand free and putting against the blonde's chest. Pushing lightly, she raised her head until it hovered above her sister's.

Yuzu, perhaps misunderstanding her intention, blushed deeply and reached up to caress Mei's face in a timid attempt at initiating something between them.

"Mei…"

She closed her eyes, shuddering when Yuzu's fingers stroked the curve of her ear, tucking a strand of black hair behind the lobe. The blonde's hand slid past her ear and to the nape of her neck, and now she was pulling Mei towards her, those enchanting green eyes fixed on the region below Mei's nose…

Mei put a finger between them at the very last moment, and Yuzu end up kissing her nail instead. The older girl blinked up at her, confusion evident on her face.

"I'm sorry. But we can't," Mei said softly, her heart thumping wildly in her chest and making her ears throb. "I…I have work to do. You know that."

Yuzu's eyes narrowed, and it occurred to Mei that they were still close enough for their noses to bump. She saw something very akin to anger in those irises.

"Why do you always do this, Mei? I know your work is important to you. Really, I do. I mean, I see you do it literally all the time. I admire that part about you." she paused, searching for the right words. "But I also think you push yourself too hard. You're really strong, Mei. I know that better than anyone. But…even you can break."

Mei blinked in muted surprise, at last lifting her head away from the blonde's. It was unlike Yuzu to say something so direct. Usually the girl fumbled around her own words until Mei gave her a stern look to cut her off, and that was the end of it.

"That may be true," she murmured back, voice hushed despite the fact that they were alone in the house tonight. "But even still, I have to fulfill my responsibilities."

" _Why?_ " Yuzu asked again, sounding genuinely exasperated with her. Her manicured fingers tightened around Mei's waist. "Why do you insist on doing this to yourself? As reliant as the school is on you, they can't justify running you into the ground for the sake of some stupid papers…you're too valuable to them, to _me_ , for that to happen. Mei, why do you like suffering so much?"

Mei closed her eyes, trying to shut it all out. Yuzu was being strangely assertive tonight, it was late, and she was exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to return to her desk and get those damned papers over with…

Maybe that was exactly what Yuzu was talking about. She hated her work in her own way, hated it so much, but in the end she always came back to it, ran back to it either because it was a comfort zone or because of obligation. It was almost darkly masochistic in a way, how her responsibilities so completely encompassed her existence. It sat on her shoulder like an accursed imp from the moment she got out of bed to the second she returned to it.

"I promised my grandfather that I would succeed the school from him one day," Mei said back. It didn't come out as strong as she intended. "I'm the president of the student council. I have an image to protect, both the school's and my own."

"But it's more than just that, isn't it?" Yuzu wondered aloud. The television flickered quietly beside them. "That can't be enough to drive this kind of motivation. As reliable as you are, Mei…I know you aren't happy when you're working all the time. There's something more to it, isn't there?"

Was there? In all honesty, Mei didn't know. She had been running on autopilot for so long that she had lost sight of the original reasons for a lot of her actions. She knew that she hadn't always been like this, cold and brooding and stuffy and whatever negative adjective Harumi could pull out of a dictionary during an angry rant. But she had always known she would be bound to the school, one way or another.

"Maybe I'm just used to taking shit from life," Mei muttered at last. She felt Yuzu stiffen momentarily at the rare use of a swear word. She knew it was very unlike her, but she was too tired to care. And she could trust Yuzu to keep it a secret.

So much for self reliance.

"That isn't something you should have to get used to," The blonde murmured, pressing Mei's head to her chest and burying her nose in the girl's midnight locks.

No, it wasn't…but Mei didn't take shit from anybody. Or did she? Thinking back, she could recall several occasions where she could have made her workload at least a little bit easier to handle. All the times Himeko had offered to take a small part of it home with her. Or whenever the teachers expressed guilt at unloading so much on her, or whenever Yuzu asked if she was okay. If she had accepted all those offers of help maybe she wouldn't be so stressed all the time. In fact, the more she thought about the more likely it felt to her.

But she still recoiled at the idea of it.

Why was that, really? To be fair, it wasn't as if anyone was forcing her to do all this. It wasn't that she took shit, she threw herself at it. Suffering was something she embraced regularly without hesitation or self remorse. She subjected herself to long hours of loneliness and monotony, toiling endlessly in hopes of getting…what? What was this all for?

"I think," Mei spoke suddenly, voice muffled against the fabric of Yuzu's shirt, "That I'm addicted to inconvenience."

The blonde frowned. "What do you mean?"

Mei mulled that over. What _did_ it mean? She had just said it instinctively, but now that she had it felt right to her. She chased the things most people avoided. Responsibility, work, obligation.

"I'm not trying to complain or anything," Mei said slowly, pinching Yuzu's collar between two fingers. "But I know I've been through more than most people my age. I suppose most would have felt some sort of entitlement from that suffering, and demanded sympathy or special treatment in recompense…but I never did that. I wasn't raised in a way for that to happen. When they started training me to take over the academy I accepted it. When my father left no one around me was complaining, so I accepted it. And from then on whenever I found something displeasurable or inconvenient I automatically tried to accept it."

Yuzu stayed quiet, allowing Mei the rare chance to ramble.

"When I was young, I always thought, 'I just have to get through this, and then it'll get better. When my father left I thought the same thing. Now I think it every day. Everyone feels that for all the misfortune you suffer the world owes you some kind of reward in return. So maybe I thought that if I subjected myself to as much inconvenience as possible, the payoff would keep getting bigger."

"But it has to end at some point, doesn't it?" Yuzu said suddenly, sitting up and pushing Mei into an upright position. She put her face right in front of her sister's and looked the girl straight in the eye. "You can save your karma as much as you want, but you've got to spend it all at some point. You've waited long enough, Mei. At this point your payoff is bigger than anyone's. You deserve to be happy."

Mei gazed back into Yuzu's eyes, her own irises smoldering with some begrudging light.

"Make me happy, then," she whispered.

Closing her eyes, Yuzu leaned forward and kissed her.

Mei's own eyelids fluttered closed immediately as she gave herself into the kiss, for once letting go and allowing Yuzu to take the lead. The kiss was soft, chaste even, as the blonde tried to handle the unfamiliarity of being in charge. They parted for a brief moment, but Yuzu quickly kissed Mei again, pushing the younger girl onto her back on the couch. There the blonde tilted her head and went deeper, holding Mei's lower lip between her teeth as she tried to translate her feelings into actions.

Mei moaned softly at the sensation, her head swimming with a weird combination of pleasure and exhaustion. Yuzu let go of her lip to graze Mei's chin with her teeth, lips ghosting across the girl's jaw and sending goosebumps erupting across her skin. It was apparent that Yuzu was putting an honest effort into this, and the thought made Mei's stomach clench in excitement.

She tried to lift her head and recapture her sister's lips and tongue, but failed when Yuzu pulled herself out of reach. Looking up, Mei blinked when Yuzu leaned forward and spoke slowly into her ear instead.

"First, I want you to promise me," she whispered, "That you'll think of yourself more often."

Mei closed her eyes, not wanting to lie just to initiating anything further. Could she really do that? Could she really break free of the endless cycle of mindless subjugation she had been part of for so long?

But then she thought of the girl she held in her arms, and realized that as long as she had Yuzu to distract her, it was possible.

Turning her head, she pressed a kiss to the side of Yuzu's head and whispered back,

"I promise."

She couldn't see it, but Mei knew a wide smile had just broken out across Yuzu's face. It made her feel a little better, inside. In the end, no amount of work was going to make either of them happy. And there was no guarantee that every amount of grief was met with an equal share of fortune. Instead of playing the tragic victim, maybe it was time for her to start chasing brighter things.

Like Yuzu.

Giggling, the blonde in question tugged at Mei's ear lobe with both her lips and teeth, making the girl gasp softly. Her warm breath tickled Mei's skin.

"Good girl," Yuzu murmured. Mei had to check herself from gulping loudly. There was something undeniably attractive about a confident Yuzu.

Maybe she would start letting her sister take the lead more often.

After all, Mei couldn't do everything herself.

* * *

 **Hey guys, Banshee here. Some of you might know me from the Madoka fandom, in which case, welcome! This one shot kind of arose out of nowhere, since I wasn't exactly planning to write it. As such I think it's a little muddy when it comes to purpose, but some wrinkles are permanent.**

 **This is my first attempt at anything Citrus, so I'm still learning the characters and how I want to write them. Overall this was mainly something I did to make sure I don't get rusty until college apps are over. I'll probably write more oneshots in the future, but I don't know when or what about. It depends on what you guys think and how I feel.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **~Banshee**


	2. Love Over Law

Chapter 2: Love Over Law

When Yuzu woke up one morning, she was unexpectedly greeted with the feeling of Mei's fingers in her hair.

Emerald eyes fluttering open, she squinted confusedly at her little sister, who had frozen upon being noticed, her long fingers still tangled loosely between Yuzu's now black curls. The older girl blushed instinctively at the unannounced contact, then noticed that Mei was slightly red in the face too, which for some reason made her blush even harder.

"Mei?" Yuzu said softly, in the way that voices subdued themselves after a night of slumber. The girl in question pursed her lips together tightly, her body shifting slightly beneath the thin bed covers. It was apparent at this point that she wasn't going to be able to play this one off. It was either she took the fall or went all in.

"Yuzu," Mei said back. It came out huskier than she intended, a curse (or blessing?) of her sleep. She felt her sister shiver at the sound of her voice as she slid on top of the former blonde, pulling a hand from behind Yuzu's head and using it to push the girl's bangs out of her forehead; she didn't want to see them. Leaning down slowly, she began one of the few of Yuzu's ideas she actually employed on a daily basis; a good morning kiss.

"Nn," Yuzu sighed, her fingers grasping at Mei's shoulders but still weak from the vestiges of sleep. Mei seemed to be at full strength however, as she pressed closer and tickled Yuzu's lower lip with her tongue, like she was trying to taste the squeaks she was trying to hold back. Which of course resulted in Yuzu letting loose said squeaks.

There was something disarmingly candid about embracing like this so early in the morning. Theoretically they were both in their worst physical condition for this sort of thing, yet they still wanted each other, they still craved each other's skin and the quiet, heady scent of morning love as the sun peeked through the blinds. To Yuzu it was a terribly romantic idea, and the to Mei it was an opportunity to act on her usually suppressed desires under the guise of grogginess.

Yuzu was forced to bite back a moan when Mei abruptly tilted her head and kissed her deeper, fingers tightening in her hair again as she sought out the girl's tongue with her own. Yuzu groaned against Mei's mouth, the sound muffled until the younger girl finally pulled back, staring down at her older sister with an almost predatory look in her eyes.

"I…" It occurred to Yuzu that she was breathing way harder than was logical, even considering the current situation. She had a hard enough time controlling herself around Mei when she was fully alert, for crying out loud! "D-Doesn't my morning breath taste bad?" She mumbled at last, thinking afterwards that it was probably the dumbest thing she could have thought of, if her aim was to get any further with Mei before school started.

The student council president just smirked back at her, leaning down until their noses bumped, her lips tantalizingly close. It took every ounce of Yuzu's pride not to whine for them right there. "You're always good enough to eat, Yuzu."

As the former blonde flushed badly at the words, Mei's eyes travelled upward and seemed to darken for an entirely different reason. Just when Yuzu had regained enough self awareness to reach up and cradle the girl's face, Mei was already slipping off of her and jumping off the bed.

"Mei?" Yuzu called after her, confused. It wasn't unusual for Mei to cut things short like that, but she usually had some apparent reason for it. "Is something wrong?"

"We're going to be late for school," She called back, ignoring the question. "Get out of bed."

* * *

"Hello? Earth to Yuzu Land?"

"Hm?" She asked, still absentminded. Her green eyes, which had been fixed on the window without seeing anything at all, slid slowly to the side until they rested on Harumi's impatient face.

She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her ample chest. "I was asking if something's bothering you? You've been ditzy all day. I mean, more than usual, that is."

Yuzu rolled her own eyes back. "Thanks for noticing."

Harumi grinned, sitting back in her desk. It was the middle of lunch break and they were sitting in their classroom together to kill time, since Yuzu didn't have much of an appetite. Lapsing back into thought, Yuzu reimagined that morning for the thirtieth time, trying to figure out where she had messed up, seeing as Mei was apparently avoiding her now. She chewed her lip, one awry finger twirling a strand of her recently dyed hair.

Harumi's eyes followed the movement, and a frown suddenly cut into her face. "Do you miss your old hair?"

Yuzu sighed, at least hearing the question this time. "To be honest, yeah. I mean, I had it like that for a long time, you know? And it's not like my hair is naturally black, either. It just feels weird."

"I'm just surprised you followed my advice so easily," Harumi said, leaning back and stacking her feet on top of the desk. "I expected you to play along for about a week before you ended up changing it back, or something."

"I don't suppose you've got some hair dye in your cleavage?" Yuzu smirked, finally tearing her unseeing gaze away from the window. She opened her lunch box and made an earnest effort to devour its contents, even though she didn't want to.

Harumi shook her head dramatically. "Not today, no. Besides, you and Prez look a bit more like real sisters, now. Doesn't that make you a little happy?"

Yuzu held a tuft of her hair in front of her eyes and examined it, but could only think that as black as she had made it there was something that made it inferior to her sister's silky locks.

 _"Someone told her she didn't look much like her late father, you know…"_ That much was true. She had always looked up to her original dad, until life and fate chose to take him away from them. She had always wanted to be a bit like her dad, and a bit like her mom, too. But then people had started saying those things, and she had figured that if she couldn't be someone else, she might as well be herself. Thus the blonde hair.

But now, as she stared at her reflection in her mirror, Yuzu felt like she was trying to be someone else all over again.

"Oh, that reminds me," Harumi said, checking a reminder on her phone. "You're coming to that Halloween party thing today, right? I mean, it's kind of late, so you might want to check with your mom first."

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, I can come," Yuzu murmured.

"Cool. I'll come over later and we can go together."

"Sure, I'll leave the door open…"

* * *

"Mei-mei, where do you want these files stored?"

"Third cabinet from the right," Mei said back without looking, mostly because she didn't have to. She knew which papers Himeko was referring to; her childhood friend was nothing if not predictable. But she didn't necessarily dislike that about the girl. In fact she would call it one of the cornerstones of their friendship. She could rely on Himeko like she was learning to rely on Yuzu, though for entirely different reasons.

As the sound of opening file cabinets pervaded the room, Mei went back to peering out the window. Even though she knew it was stupid, she trying seeking out a familiar blonde head amongst the crowds of students enjoying their lunch break outside. That was one benefit of Yuzu's old hair. She was never too hard to spot in a crowd, and sometimes Mei would take comfort in poking her head by the window and finding her sister's yellow marker out there somewhere.

"One of the underclassmen told me something pretty interesting the other day!" Himeko called out from her place by the file cabinets. She was balancing precariously on a stack of boxes in order to store the files just the way Mei wanted them, and though she normally would have told her vice president to find a safer method, she was too distracted to do so.

"Is that so?" Mei said, turning away from the window and taking a seat at the main desk. She began mentally cataloguing through her work for the day.

"Yup." Himeko finished her own work and leapt down from the boxes, her pigtails flouncing by her head. "Someone told me your step sister has finally decided to do something about her horrendously dyed hair."

Mei's finger twitched imperceptibly, crinkling the paper she was holding. Himeko didn't seem to notice.

"It's about time, if you ask me," the shorter girl continued. "I mean, she somehow managed to attend a full year at this school while breaking at least fifty regulations every _day_ …not to mention that her grades aren't exactly stellar…"

"She did make it into the top hundred recently," Mei reminded her. Then she bit her lip, wondering if her quick defense of Yuzu would give anything away.

But Himeko just huffed. "Well, I guess that's not so bad. But she had you to help her, didn't she? I don't know why you aren't harder on her, Mei…"

Mei didn't know why either. She could reprimand Yuzu for her garish style of dress every day, she could scold her sister for not studying for her tests or being late to class or playing hooky any time she wanted, but for some idiotic reason she balked at the idea of really enforcing the rules around Yuzu's hair. She had told Yuzu to remove the dye in her hair quite often at first, but as time wore on she found herself saying it less and less. Eventually the school seemed to have gotten used to it too, and Mei had figured that if she herself didn't do anything, things would just stay the way they were.

Until Yuzu went ahead and changed things herself.

"Now that I think about it, she hasn't really stepped out of line as of late," Himeko continued to muse. "I mean, she still has her reputation, but she hasn't exactly gotten into actual trouble lately. Maybe you're actually starting to influence her a little, Mei-mei!"

Mei forced a small smile, knowing that Himeko meant to harm. "I don't really know if that's a good thing," she said, trying to make it sound like a joke.

Himeko just snorted. "Oh please. Everyone should try to be a little more like you, Mei."

 _No._

"Perhaps."

* * *

Mei actually didn't have too much work to do that day, which was just as well because she lacked the necessary focus to anything significant. Thus she had the rare opportunity to walk home at the same time as the other students, but she didn't wait for Yuzu like she normally would have. Part of her didn't want to make herself search for another black head amongst a sea of brown and black. Part of her felt like that meant giving in to change.

So she went home by herself, and was sitting quietly on the couch when Yuzu announced her arrival from the front door a little later. The former blonde walked into the living room where Mei and their mother were waiting, her bag swinging loosely on her shoulder.

It was late afternoon in early spring, and the sun was slanting in through the windows and painting the entire room a deep orange. Yuzu's eyes glinted in the light as they sought out Mei's, but the younger girl averted her gaze, thinking that Yuzu's hair looked even darker in the absence of white light. Biting her lip, Yuzu sat down by their mother and chatted with her instead.

It was an unspoken rule between them that they would never allow any of their personal drama to concern their mother, who would undoubtedly worry. Mei felt a slight pinch of guilt at making that promise actually necessary.

Later that night, Yuzu had just gotten out of the shower and into her pajamas, and was standing in front of the mirror brushing her hair when she spotted Mei watching her from the door.

Hand going still, she instinctively smiled at her sister through the mirror, trying to initiate conversation. "Hey. What's up?"

In answer, Mei walked up to Yuzu and hugged her from behind. Yuzu yelped at the unexpected gesture, the brush falling out of her hand and clattering against the solid bathroom counter. Biting her lip nervously, she settled her hands down on top of Mei's, which were laced tightly around the older girl's abdomen. "Mei…?"

"Why did you dye your hair, Yuzu?" she asked suddenly, in a voice that sounded genuinely disappointed.

Yuzu stilled at the sudden inquiry, her fingers going still over her sister's. She didn't really know what to say to that. Wasn't it what Mei had always wanted from her?

"I thought you were the one always telling me to?" She said back, emerald eyes searching for Mei's through the mirror, but the younger girl was hiding her face behind Yuzu's hair.

"I know what I said," Mei said, her fingers tightening into fists. "Which is why this is going to sound so stupid. But since when do you follow the rules? You didn't do it just because I said so, did you?"

Yuzu thought about that for a long time, eye blinking slowly as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Green eyes and black hair. She had always thought personally that her eyes went better with blonde, and even her mother had agreed after she first dyed it. Now the sleek dark of her hair and the glittering emerald of her eyes gave her an almost feline aura, like she was a forest panther or something. In all honesty, she didn't really like it. It wasn't _her._ The novelty had worn off.

"I mean, I thought…" Yuzu chuckled lightly at herself, squeezing Mei's hands with her own. "I guess I thought it would make you happy if I listened to you for once. And I can't damage your reputation, and all that. But besides all those things…I guess I just wanted to be a bit more like you, Mei."

"That's a terrible idea," Mei murmured, her nose buried against the nape of Yuzu's neck. Yuzu's hair was still warm from the blowdryer, and if she closed her eyes and inhaled the familiar scent of strawberries, she could almost pretend that there was nothing wrong.

Yuzu frowned. "But everyone looks up to you, Mei," she insisted. "All the students, the entire school, mom…and me. And everyone always says I should learn from your example."

Tightening her arms, Mei hugged Yuzu even closer.

"I like you because you aren't like me," she whispered. "I like you because you're different, because you aren't afraid of the rules that I'm a slave to. You say everyone looks up to me, then who do I look up to? It has to be someone who is everything I can't be."

Yuzu's eyes widened. "So, you mean-"

Mei bit her lip, her breath warm against Yuzu's ear. "I love you because you live your own life."

Yuzu blushed badly at the words, reaching up to stroke her hair. Mei was right. She had only really done this to emulate her sister, if only a little. But wasn't that why she had hated Mei at first, because she tried to force other people to live by the same standard?

Laughing quietly to herself again, she turned around and pulled Mei close again, so that their foreheads touched. It was in close proximities like this that it became apparent that Yuzu was the taller one.

"So you'll let me dye it back?" She asked softly, cracking a sheepish smile as she caressed her lover's face.

Mei looked up at her, eyes filled with a base desire that betrayed her true age for once. Biting her lip meekly, she nodded with a flushed face, and Yuzu was reminded of how adorable Mei was when she was embarrassed.

"Okay. I'll do that, then," Yuzu promised, leaning forward and kissing her. Mei smiled into the embrace.

When they broke apart, however, she frowned and reached out to touch Yuzu's head again. "But dyeing it again, so soon? Won't that be bad for your hair?"

Yuzu made a face. "Yeah, probably. It'll probably be a couple more weeks, at least. Not to mention that Harumi's going to flip when I tell her."

"Harumi?"

"Yeah. She's the one who told me to do this, you know?" she said, pointing at her head for reference.

"…she actually encouraged you to abide by school rules?"

"I know, right?!"

Mei rolled her eyes. Leave it to Harumi to irritate her indirectly even when she was doing the _right_ thing.

"Speaking of which," Yuzu said suddenly, "You don't like kissing me as much with this hair, do you?"

Mei pursed her lips. "Well, I can look past it for now. But I can't say I really prefer it."

Yuzu's eyes flashed. "Then I've got an idea!"

* * *

 _Okay,_ Yuzu thought, biting her lip. _I don't really know how I'm going to handle this one._

Yuzu grand "idea" had been, essentially, to blindfold Mei. Her initial intention had just been to remove the issue of Mei seeing her hair, but there was also the added excitement of cutting off one of her lover's senses. She just hoped she had both the confidence and expertise to pull this off.

"Yuzu," Mei said, her voice more hushed than was actually necessary, "Are you sure about this?"

The older girl had to bite her tongue. There was just something incredibly thrilling about this, about being in control. They were both sitting on their bed with Mei sitting up against the head board, and though Mei wasn't tied up or anything, there was a no touching rule. The tie that was wrapped around Mei's eyes was thick enough to block out most of the light, so she wouldn't be seeing much of anything.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to," Yuzu offered, thinking she should give Mei the chance to back out. She wasn't going to make the girl do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

But Mei surprised her by flushing and turning her head to the side, giving her unspoken consent to do as she pleased.

 _Oh, god,_ Yuzu thought feverishly as she crawled up the length of Mei's lithe body, her heart hammering in her chest. _I really hope I don't mess this up._

Mei's head was still turned to the side, so she started by pressing her lips to the younger girl's temple, trailing her lips down until she could blow slowly on her ear. Mei clenched her teeth at the sensation, her fingers curling the bedsheets into fists.

"Mei…" Yuzu breathed, deciding to be as natural as possible. Gliding her nose across the girl's jaw, she pressed a quick, soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. When Mei turned her head to capture her lips fully, Yuzu pulled back and flicked Mei's lip with her tongue, teasing her. Frowning, the girl's hands began to reach out for Yuzu before remembering the no touching rule, and she sat back with a huff.

"Don't tease me, Yuzu…"

Yuzu laughed softly. "Sorry," she said, kissing Mei for real this time. It quickly became bolder, as even when blindfolded Mei was a formidable kisser. She tickled Yuzu lightly beneath her tongue, making her gasp and nearly moan in her lover's mouth for the second time that day.

Smirking to herself, Mei coaxed Yuzu's tongue into the space between their lips, before running her own tongue along its length. She kept doing that, drawing out Yuzu's tongue and sucking it gently into her own mouth, and a heavy fog seemed to descend upon the former blonde's vision as she struggled to remember that she was supposed to be in charge.

"Mei!" she whispered harshly, but Mei would not relent, head moving forward to ravage Yuzu's mouth once more. Yuzu whined lowly and pressed impossibly closer, practically straddling Mei's hips at this point, thus increasing the delicious friction between them. She kept her fingers tangled tightly in Mei's hair, because even if Mei didn't like black hair on _her_ , she absolutely loved it on her sister.

It was only when Mei's slender hands began sliding up her thighs that Yuzu regained focus. If she lost control now, she would never accomplish what she had set out to do. And what was the point of that?

"Nnn…wait," Yuzu gasped, their wet lips making an audible sound when they pulled apart.

She couldn't see Mei's eyes at the moment, but she imagined she was getting the death glare at the moment. "What?"

"I…" She took another moment to catch her breath. Her recently brushed hair was all disheveled. "I'm supposed to be in charge, aren't I?"

"Well, you aren't doing a very good job of it." The obvious amusement in Mei's voice made Yuzu flush badly.

"Let me try, then," Yuzu insisted. Leaning forward, she licked up a thin trail of saliva from the corner of Mei mouth, making her cry out. Thrilled at the sound, she held Mei's lower lip gently between her teeth. "Let me…pull you apart, okay?"

With that said, she lowered her head and began attacking Mei's neck with her mouth. That immediately drew an intense stream of cries from Mei, and a pair of hands quickly went to tangle in Yuzu's hair. Remembering the no touch rule, Yuzu turned her head and nipped the delicate column of flesh in front of her, earning her a startled yelp from the normally stoic girl. _God, I love her voice._

"No touching," Yuzu whispered, using her tongue to soothingly lick the angry bite mark. Closing her lips around the minor wound, she began sucking lightly, briefly entertaining the thought of leaving a hickey. The thought was certainly appealing, but Mei would probably kill her for it. Which was a little unfair; Yuzu had sported several of her own markings at various places on her body, all courtesy of Mei.

Yuzu's lips passed over the swell of Mei's breast that peeked over the collar of her shirt, and at the same time her hand cupped the girl's sex, palm pressing flush against the incredibly hot junction between the girl's legs.

Mei inhaled sharply, her back arching off the mattress as Yuzu palmed her considerably soaked crotch. "Yuzu!" she hissed, the harsh syllables melting into smooth mewls when Yuzu pressed harder, using her other hand to cup Mei's breast through her shirt. Mei actually moaned, and Yuzu's ears were elated when she heard her own name somewhere in the stream of pleasured noises. Reaching up, Yuzu breathed harshly against her lover's neck, barely fighting to urge to grind her own core against the girl's leg.

Mei whimpered when Yuzu pulled her hand away, but was quickly appeased when the former blonde descended down the length of her body, the bed creaking softly as Yuzu positioned herself in front of the throbbing source of Mei's need. A soft curse escaped the girl's lips when Yuzu began slowly kissing her navel, followed by the steady panting of anticipation as Yuzu took the hem of Mei's pajama bottom between her teeth, preparing to tug them down in one swift move.

Before she did, she looked up at Mei. Her lover was limp from the waist up, head thrown back and pointed toward the ceiling as her chest rose and fell rapidly. The sheets were a crumpled mess on either side of her, where she had clenched them in her never ending war against the absolutely desire to touch Yuzu.

In that moment, she felt a little bad for Mei. After all, she knew what it felt like to be in that position; Mei had played this game against her before. So, reaching up, she slowly undid the blindfold and tossed it aside. Mei blinked at the sudden unveiling, then instinctively looked down at Yuzu, who smirked back.

She wanted Mei to watch her do this.

Grasping Mei's pants between her teeth, she began to slowly tug them downwards, maintaining sinful eye contact the entire time, hands reaching up to tug the girl's panties along with them-

There was an incredible thumping sound from beyond the hallway, and suddenly the door was getting kicked aside as Harumi stormed in, dressed in a ridiculous ballerina outfit.

"Alright, who's ready to party - JESUS CHRIST!"

Yuzu literally choked on Mei's pants.

"H-H-How did you get in here!"

"You left the door open! Now what-"

"Out."

"But-"

"OUT!"

 _Slam._

* * *

About a month later, Yuzu made a run to the store and bought some hair dye, in the same color as her old style. She came to school the next day with a head of hair bright enough to rival the sun, but Harumi was too traumatized to say anything against it, and Himeko was floored when Mei said she wasn't going to do anything about.

After all, it was probably about time she started learning from Yuzu's example.

* * *

 **This ended up being wayyy longer than I expected, which I guess is okay, since it's just a one shot.**

 **I know I sort of cut it short there, but I'm still getting better at writing the lemony stuff. Honestly speaking, it's probably inevitable that I get a few M-rated chapters up on this story.**

 **But until then, thanks for reading!**

 **~Banshee**

that one Guest: these are just some drabbles. Not multichapter


	3. Check Out

Just a heads up that this chapter is rated L for lewd.

* * *

Chapter 3: Check Out

There were times when Yuzu felt that Mei was the epitome of caution.

Often it was exceedingly difficult to get the raven haired girl to just _consider_ doing something that she considered "dangerous" or "immoral", such as the numerous times Yuzu had asked her to hang out with her after school. It was during times like those that the blonde felt furthest from her sister, as it became apparent that the two of them could not be any more different from each other.

But then there were the days when Mei was almost…scarily spontaneous. She would sometimes do things that caught Yuzu completely off guard, and though she was always happy to be the receiver of the girl's more honest side, she wished there was a way to anticipate them sooner.

Like right now.

"Keep quiet, Yuzu," Mei whispered under her breath, punctuating her words with a flick of her tongue over the blonde's exposed nipple.

Yuzu bit her lip so hard it hurt and turned her head to the side, cheek pressing against the spine of a book. Mei had her pressed against a bookshelf in the deepest corner of the school library, the top three buttons of her shirt hanging open and the rest of her clothes at haphazard angles. She was caught between wanting to avoid getting caught and wanting to moan Mei's name, and the dilemma was squeezing her chest until it felt like it would burst.

Smiling at the blonde's obvious effort, Mei closed her mouth over Yuzu's tit once more. Her hands held the taller girl tightly around her shoulders, elegant fingers pressing firmly against the flushed skin of Yuzu's neck as she serviced her older sister.

Yuzu whimpered quietly, her own hands scrabbling desperately at the spines of the books stacked neatly behind her. Their class had come into the school library for a study hall, seeing as they had a substitute today, and within five minutes Mei had stood up and beckoned for Yuzu to come and help her find a book.

She had followed along willingly enough, delighted that Mei wanted her help. They hadn't talked very much in the past week, since Mei had been so busy with work. She was looking forward to spending some quality time with her.

It turned out that Mei did indeed need some help, but certainly not with locating a book. She had turned and pinned Yuzu to the wall the minute they stepped behind the shelf, and before the blonde knew it they were in this ridiculous situation.

"Mei," Yuzu breathed as softly as possible. "We're going to get caught…"

Mei stopped sucking the blonde's nipple into her mouth long enough to look up at her. Yuzu's face was impressively red, partly due to the arousal and party because of the incredible restraint she was exhibiting. She found the sight to be almost unbearably sexy.

"So you don't want to?" she whispered back, pressing her lithe body flush against her sister's.

Yuzu shuddered at the increased contact, eyes slipping back in her head as her lids fluttered. "N-No. I do."

"Then shut up. We're in a library." Mei took the girl's nipple gently between her front teeth and tugged for emphasis, before flicking it with her tongue.

Yuzu clenched her teeth so hard she was afraid her jaw was going to break. If Mei wanted her to be quiet, she shouldn't be making her want to scream! A loud moan was bubbling dangerously close to the end of her throat, and it took all of her admittedly paltry willpower to keep it suppressed.

Her thoughts were immediately obliterated when Mei pressed her thigh in between Yuzu's legs, shifting slightly to get a good angle. A stupefied groan slipped from between her teeth at that moment, but not before Mei reached up and locked their lips together, both girls breathing harshly out of their noses as they kissed. Yuzu's moan was muffled by the insistent pursuit of Mei's tongue, caressing the back of the younger girl's throat.

Mei felt her pulse quicken at the sensation, and she fisted Yuzu's hair between her fingers. Her control was considerably better than the blonde's but this was _Yuzu_ they were talking about here. Even she was liable to let a cry slip through if she wasn't careful.

"Yuzu," she said breathlessly, closing in for another kiss. Yuzu whined softly when their chests pressed together, Mei's clothed one against her bare one. The soft material of the younger girl's shirt ghosted over Yuzu's exposed skin and sent goosebumps erupting over its surface. Hands shaking, the blonde reached up at clutched at the back of Mei's shirt helplessly, exerting all her focus just to hold on to the girl, her hips jerking sporadically across the smooth skin of Mei's leg.

Mei seemed to smile at the utter dominance she was exercising over her partner, and Yuzu felt her cheeks burn with a fresh wave of embarrassment. She would like to be a bit more composed when things got like this, of course, but god it was _Mei._ Mei, who was so terrifyingly good at reducing her to a wanting mess. It was a power that Yuzu both loved and feared. When her sister got serious, there was virtually nothing she could do.

Yuzu bit back a disappointed moan when she felt Mei's knee retract, so that it was no long pressing firmly against the junction between her legs. Her core began to throb with need almost immediately, and she was about to risk making noise to beg Mei not to stop when the girl slid one hand down the length of their bodies before slipping two fingers inside.

Yuzu gasped audibly when Mei abruptly filled her, hips jerking instinctively to get closer to the source of pleasure. She nearly moaned when her hips ground against Mei's hand, hilting the long fingers as deep as they would go. If it kept going at this pace, she was going to-

Mei's other hand suddenly slapped itself over her mouth, startling her. When she brought her bleary eyes down, she saw her sister's sinfully dark eyes staring back. Beyond them, in the undefined space between their bodies, Yuzu could see Mei's hand buried inside of her skirt and panties.

"Shh," Mei said, an intense expression on her face.

It was only then that Yuzu heard the voices on the other side of the bookshelf, quiet enough that she had completely missed them in the heated daze she had just been trapped in. Her green eyes widened in panic when she recognized one of the voices to be Harumi's.

"You sure you know where this book is, Hime-chan?" The gyaru's voice said, floating over the top of the bookshelf to fall on top of Yuzu's terrified ears. "I've been looking for it this whole time…"

"Of course I do." Himeko's annoyed tone joined Harumi's, and this time it was Mei's turn to swear internally. "I was on the library staff before I became the vice president, you know. We'll find it."

"If you say so…"

Mei's fingers had gone completely still inside of Yuzu at this point, for which the blonde was partially glad. She had been extremely close to finishing right then and there. If they screwed up now, they were going to get caught for sure-

Mei's fingers twisted inside of Yuzu's cunt, twisting once before hilting themselves once more.

The blonde's heart exploded violently inside her chest as pure panic rushed through her veins. She stared at Mei with shocked eyes as the girl's hand tightened even further against her mouth, in an attempt to stem the cries that were inevitably coming.

 _Oh my god. This is insaaaaneeeee…_ Yuzu thought wildly as Mei began fingering her in earnest, putting her wrist at just the perfect angle so that she could reach as deep as humanly possible. Then she pressed her face against the curve of Yuzu's neck, her hot mouth breathing quiet puffs of air against the excited skin.

Yuzu could still hear Harumi and Himeko talking behind her, but the two girls seemed to be in an entirely different universe by this point. A soft squeal nearly slipped out from between Mei's fingers, and the younger girl turned her head and bit Yuzu in punishment. Which was a little stupid in retrospect; she very nearly yelped when she felt Mei's teeth prick her skin.

 _Holy crap._ Mei was breathing as harshly as she dared against the hollow of Yuzu's throat, her fingers moving at a steady rhythm that she didn't dare to increase. The blonde was already incredibly wet, and going any faster could make their lovemaking audible to the others in the library.

She felt Yuzu's lips moving beneath her palm, and she looked up to see that the blonde was opening her mouth in a silent scream, hot puffs of breath slipping out to warm Mei's skin. Mei instinctively kept the pressure before her fingers up, and before she knew it they were falling into Yuzu's mouth, the index and middle finger dipping inside to press against the blonde's tongue.

Mei's eyes widened at the mistake, and she was about to withdraw her hand when Yuzu instinctively closed her lips around the fingers and started sucking.

Something unfathomably profound seized the pit of Mei's stomach at the sight, and suddenly she realized how ready she had become while stirring her sister up. Biting her lip as Yuzu continued to pant around her fingers, she began to grind her clothed arousal against the blonde's thigh, the rhythm of her hips matching the hand still buried deep inside Yuzu's core.

The blonde nearly sobbed when she felt Mei getting herself off against her, as her saliva began to thoroughly coat the digits stick inside her mouth. Mei bit down on her shoulder hard enough to draw blood before curling her fingers inside of Yuzu, and suddenly they were both nearing that tantalizing peak, bumping and grinding and thrusting feverishly against each other in a desperate, silent race to reach the top.

Then they were both climaxing in unison, and it was Mei who couldn't help letting a small moan squeak out past her lips as she screwed her eyes shut, body riding out an incredibly powerful orgasm. She didn't know if it was the thrill of doing this in the library, or the people standing all around them, or that Yuzu was still sucking vigorously on her fingers like they were candy.

They both came down with tensed bodies, Mei holding Yuzu's hair fisted in her hands as she took deep, shuddering breaths. Her body seemed to have gone limp, and it was only the blonde's knee still pressed against her core that kept them both upright.

Yuzu's chest was rising and falling like crazy, and her cheeks and chest were flushed. Behind her, she could hear her friends' voices fading as they returned to their seats, having apparently found the book they were looking for.

Looking to the side, she saw a small space in the rows of books where Himeko had taken out a certain volume, and realized just how close they had come to being caught.

Casting a stern glance down at her sister, who seemed to have mostly composed herself by now, she demanded softly, "How could you corner me like that _here_ of all places? We almost got caught!"

Mei just gave her a small smirk, reaching up to tuck a strand of blonde hair behind an ear. "I had faith in your control."

Yuzu gave her a dubious look. It occurred to her that Mei had been the one to suggest this study hall in the first place.

"You weren't even planning on checking anything out, were you?"

Mei just smiled as she buttoned Yuzu's shirt back up, tugging the girl closer to her when her fingers reached the top of the collar.

"Not a book, at least," she said, before giving the girl a sweet kiss.

Sometimes Mei was wonderfully spontaneous.

* * *

 **This chapters was inspired, in part, by chapter 32 of angel0wonder's story, 'Citrus Schtuffs.' You can think of it as an extended version of that chapter, if you'd like. Pretty much just splurged this out in half an hour. I hath no shame.**

 **I was working on something original, but the ideas just weren't flowing, and I ended up writing this instead...such is my destiny.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **~Banshee**


	4. Ingrained

Chapter 4: Ingrained

They say when you give you heart to someone, it has a tendency to grow legs and walk away to far off lands.

Yuzu absentmindedly balanced a mechanical pencil on her nose, narrowing all of her focus on keeping the little thing perched there even when her hair tickled her eyes. Mei always said that she could only really focus on the most insignificant things, and she supposed this was a good enough example of that.

Thinking about her lover ended up breaking her concentration, and the pencil clattered onto the surface of the table.

To be truthful, there was no such saying about the heart, or whichever. It was just something Yuzu had been thinking alot, lately.

"Hey Yuzu-chi?"

Blinking, the blonde abruptly realized that Harumi was looking at her with an expectant look on her face, her expression soft but still tinged with impatience. "Mind if we make some progress on this project?"

"Oh, right," Yuzu muttered, reclaiming her pencil and spinning it around in her fingers. Once it was in the right configuration, she began scribbling something unintelligible on the paper sitting in front of her on the table.

The other two girls in their work group went back to whatever it was they were doing, whispering quietly amongst themselves at another table. They had decided to divide the work evenly between them, but even if they had been sharing the same chair with one ass cheek per person Yuzu wouldn't have been able to say what they were doing exactly. Her mind was still lost in Otherland.

Maybe her heart was there too?

Harumi watched her friend for a moment longer before returning to her own work. Yuzu felt a pang of guilt in her chest and tried to focus, knowing full well that the other girl tended to carry her dead weight through projects like this.

She was promptly foiled, however, when Harumi decided to speak.

"Thinking about her?" she asked, pencil going still as she raised her imploring eyes.

Yuzu pursed her lips slightly. There was nothing accusatory about the question, but it still set her on edge for some reason. "Yeah, I guess."

Harumi just smiled wanly, tapping her pencil against the paper. "Well, I do have to admit it feels weird not having the Prez around. Himeko still yells at me for dress code violations, of course, but it just isn't the same."

Yuzu smiled ruefully at the quasi-joke. The vice president was certainly doing her utmost to fill the hole Mei had left behind, but like Harumi said, it just wasn't the same. It wasn't as if the entire school had turned upside down; it just felt like something solid was missing. Not to mention that Himeko cast a considerably weaker presence when she was strutting around the halls, compared to Mei's sometimes intimidating elegance.

"Mei will be back eventually," Yuzu said simply, shrugging and trying to return to her paper.

"And until then?" Harumi murmured, scribbling something down herself. A ceiling fan was rotating slowly overhead, making the lights flicker weakly. "You haven't been the same since she left, Yuzu. Even if you do miss her. It's making me worried."

The blonde set her elbows on the desk, pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her hands and pressing them against her nose. "I'm not that obvious, am I?"

"Mmm…yeah, you kind of are."

Yuzu's forehead thunked against the desk. "That's great." Turning her head so that her cheek was squished by the hard surface, she stared out the window, which was dominated by the gray visage of winter. It was bitterly cold outside, and the sky was an unwelcoming colorless stretch that seemed to separate the world from something better.

Harumi actually sighed, the unusual sound drawing the blonde's attention. "I don't know, Yuzu. It's okay for you to miss her. I do too, in my own way. But sometimes I feel like you need her too much. Sometimes…sometimes I just feel like icing on the cake, you know?"

Eyes widening, Yuzu reached out and gently grasped her best friend's wrist.

"You know I love you too, Harumi," she said, as genuinely as she could manage.

But the girl just smiled.

"Not like you love her."

* * *

When Yuzu stepped outside, the cold struck her and gripped her body like a vice.

The two of them said goodbye to their classmates who had been working on the project with them, then approached the school gate on their own. Yuzu's neck and mouth were muffled by the embracing warmth of a wooly scarf, a present from Mei. Even so, the breath from her nose frosted like a lonely specter. The cold dusted her cheeks red.

"I've got to get home. It's my turn to make dinner," Harumi said, stopping at the gate. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Yuzu said, smiling widely through the scarf, a gesture the other girl seemed to reciprocate.

But as she turned around and walked away, Yuzu could only watch the back of her head and wonder about what she had said earlier.

The wind cut through her then, and she decided it was best that she got going too.

The streets were frigid and empty on the way home, and Yuzu made the walk in silence. Winter had a way of doing that, gripping everything in a muffling fist that never let anything go. Frost lined the sides of the roads, and the trees lining the houses were a skeletal black. It was an impersonal kind of purity, like a diamond with sharp edges. As if the frozen earth beneath Yuzu's shoes were protecting something much greater.

It reminded her of Mei, in a way.

Had the girl been by her side at this very moment, their elbows brushing discreetly the way they always did, perhaps Yuzu would have found the scenery romantic. The crisp air, the unmarked sky, the sense of solitude…but no, today she was alone, and there was a definite difference between solitude and loneliness.

Her phone buzzed, and she checked it to find a message from her mother asking when she would be home. Yuzu texted back that she was on her way before pocketing the device.

It had been three weeks since Mei had gone to the United States. Apparently international education was all the rage these days, and Mei's grandfather had recently become interested in forming a partnership with a newly built school in America. With the intense standards Yuzu's school had, the man had wanted to inspect it first to see if it was up to par. Which was absolutely fine with Yuzu; in all honesty, she didn't really care.

Except he had chosen to take Mei along with him.

It had felt totally unfair at first. The journey was going to take a full month, her grandfather's argument being that as a future headmaster, Mei ought to know what made a good school and what didn't. Which was all fine and dandy, but Yuzu could only think that it meant a month without Mei. The prospect had crushed her almost immediately, but what could she do?

There was absolutely no reason for her to accompany Mei and miss an entire month of school, or at least not one that would convince her mom, since _I need her_ probably wasn't going to cut it. Even Mei had told her to stay behind and focus on her studies in order to maintain her spot in the top one hundred, like she gave a flying shit about that.

"You have your priorities, and I have mine," Mei had said, in that blunt manner of speaking Yuzu both adored and hated. "That's just the way it is."

 _But what if you're my priority?_ she had wanted to blurt out, but held her tongue in the moment. She knew saying something like that wasn't going to change anything.

As for Mei missing school herself, she was able to arrange to take the yearly finals early, something Yuzu could never hope to tackle herself. A week later the girl was getting on a plane to another country across the sea, and Yuzu could only watch and wave until the plane disappeared into the clouds, and even still she waved, thinking that if she did it hard enough she could go airborne and follow Mei wherever she went.

After that, she had descended into a sort of minor depression.

Her grades fell, until she was literally number one hundred on the school ranking. She hung out with Harumi less. She even fell behind on her dramas, which she had faithfully followed for years.

Her bed was cold when she slipped into it at night, and it was frozen when she left it in the morning. Walks to school were quiet and uneventful. Getting reprimanded for something no longer carried that familiar thrill, because as harsh as it sounded, it was just Himeko doing the scolding. Everything felt like a discount version of itself without Mei around.

It's okay, her mom had said, ruffling her daughter's dyed hair. It's only a month. She'll be back soon.

Yuzu knew deep inside that her mother was right, and that there was no real reason for her to be reacting like this. But it was more than that. It was this ugly feeling of dependency that she didn't like.

The notion that she needed Mei more than Mei needed her.

She texted her sister often, of course, and received terse, brief replies, most of them regarding her work at the school. It seemed that there was a lot for her to do, even when she was on the other side of the Pacific Ocean. It was like her work followed her no matter how far she went. Grandfather was filling Mei's day with all kinds of tasks in order to condition her, and it was keeping the girl on her toes.

Yuzu knew it was petty, but she hated her grandfather for that.

Thinking back, she could recall many times when she had chased Mei, begged for her, made compromises for her. She had simply accepted it as an aspect of their relationship; someone had to do the changing, and she was willing to be that person.

But now, as her feet crunched on the brittle snow that dusted the street and her breath shrouded the path before her, Yuzu could only think that she wanted Mei to return the favor, once in a while. While she was standing here moping, Mei was probably out there taking the world by storm like she always did.

Or maybe she was being unfair? Maybe she didn't deserve to hold Mei back like that. After all, her sister had a much brighter future than herself. It wouldn't do for her to make Mei's life harder when she already had so much on her plate.

She could think all that rather easily, of course, but it was even easier for her to close her eyes and yearn from Mei's scent, the sound of her voice, the feeling of their bodies pressed together, her smile, her cute occasional laughs, the way her eyelashes fluttered whenever Yuzu said something that got to her…

Yeah, she was definitely obsessed. Harumi was right. Even if it wasn't true, she probably made her other friends feel like icing on the cake. But didn't the icing complete the cake? Or was it the cake that gave the icing a reason to exist?

Her lightless musings were interrupted when she reached her front door, and she dug her key out of her pocket.

When she pushed it open, the smell of chicken graced her nose; her favorite.

But she wasn't really in the mood for it.

* * *

Yuzu stepped out of the shower, a towel draped over her damp hair. She had spent nearly an entire hour submerged in the burning water, nodding off intermittently as her thoughts continued to wander.

 _Mei, Mei,_ they had seemed to say, bouncing off the tiled walls and mixing with the steam that clogged her lungs. She was breathing the girl's name.

The thought made her feel giddy, and she had decided it was time to get out.

Her mother wasn't in the living room as usual when she walked in, the room occupied only by the remnants of their dinner. Frowning, Yuzu looked around the rest of the floor but found nothing.

To be completely honest, she had been…only slightly tempted to relieve her desires while in the tub, but had forgone the opportunity for fear of disturbing her mother. Because, after all, a month without Mei also meant a month without sex. And that was serious depravation, especially considering the pace Mei had forced her to get used to.

Now, finding that the floor was completely empty, she felt like she should have taken the chance after all.

Well, some opportunities only presented themselves once. Padding her way up the stairs, Yuzu finished drying her hair and was about to enter her room when she spotted someone sitting on the second floor balcony.

Turning, she saw her mother occupying a chair on the veranda, a can of beer in one hand as the other lay relaxed on the arm of the chair. The woman seemed to be sitting in silence, with only the stars for company.

Part of Yuzu wanted to just go to sleep, but a bigger part wanted to go out onto that balcony. Besides, she didn't want to return that cold, empty bed, the one that was only complete when it had Mei in it.

Turning on her heel, she approached the sliding door and pried it open, stepping out into the night air.

Her mother's head turned at the noise, eyes alighting upon her daughter.

"Oh, Yuzu!" she said brightly tilting her beer can in greeting. "Out of the shower?"

"Yeah." The blonde occupied the second chair on the veranda, drawing her bare feet off the concrete and pulling both knees close to her chest.

Tilting her head back, her mother downed the rest of the beer, groaning as it burned a track down her throat. "Man, that really hits the spot," she muttered, setting the now empty can down on the little table between the chairs.

Yuzu smiled. "You shouldn't drink so much at night, you know that?"

The woman just waved her off, even as her face reddened considerably from the alcohol. "Oh, please. I'm still young! Well, maybe not that young, but I'm a maiden at heart!"

"Uh huh."

Her mom just pouted, obviously a little tipsy. "Geez. Your stepfather understands that, at least. He always called me his little princess."

Yuzu, who had been absentmindedly crossing her toes over each other, suddenly stilled. "Mom?" she said, eyes glued to her feet.

"Hm?" A pop as another beer can was opened.

"Do you ever miss Sho?"

"Your stepfather?" The woman sipped conservatively before narrowing her eyes at the sky. Then she sighed. "Yes, honey. I suppose I do. He's been gone for a long time, now."

"Don't you want him to come back?"

"Of course I do." Yuzu's mother smiled softly, setting the newly opened can by the empty one. She seemed to have regained a little awareness. "I married purely for love this time, you know. None of that other practical stuff. Old age tends to weather you to that, eventually."

Yuzu smirked. "I thought you were still young."

"Shh. Our secret."

She laughed.

"But you know, your stepfather," the woman continued, tapping her finger on the arm of the chair. "Or I supposed I can call him your father, now. Of course I miss him, and of course I wish he were around to father his daughters. But at the same time, I understand his perspective. You've met him, Yuzu. You know how he is. He's constantly trying to understand himself, and the people around him. I think he has the privilege to answer those questions."

Yuzu frowned. "Even if it makes you lonely?"

Her mother smirked and popped her daughter on the nose, making her wrinkle her face. "I'm not lonely! I've got the two best daughters in the world. Besides-" she took a moment to have a swig - "no matter how far Shu flies or how long he stays there, he'll always come back."

"And why is that?"

"Because his heart's here, Yuzu. Whether it be in me, or the school he left behind, or the daughter he might have let down on occasion. I married him because he never forgets what's most important to him. It was something your late father had, too."

Yuzu looked up at the stars, thinking that even if they looked close from down here, they were millions of light years apart in reality.

"Don't you feel like you need him more than he needs you?" she asked, as honestly as possible, to make it clear that she wasn't suggesting anything else.

Her mother's hand went still. "There's a little bit of that," she admitted, tapping one finger against the aluminum can. "Even when I was seeing him, he was always off doing something else. It made me wonder if he loved me as much as I loved him. There's always that sort of fear, I think, the fear of putting in more than the other person does. It makes you feel weak, and it's embarrassing, in its own way."

"I know," Yuzu murmured, drawing her mother's stare, though the woman said nothing.

Above them, the stars winked knowingly.

"But you know," the woman said at last, "One day he said something that really touched me. I didn't ask for him to say it, he just did."

"What did he say?"

"That the only reason he can go out and do such great things is because he has me to come home too." the woman shrugged, blushing gently at the memory even now. "I guess you could say he has a way with words. Quite dashing, really. There was always something very captivating about him."

"It must run in the family," Yuzu muttered.

Her mother laughed. "Yes, I suppose," she chuckled. "Gosh, you really do miss Mei, don't you?"

Yuzu blushed hotly. "Am I really that obvious?"

"You've been moping around the house for a solid three weeks, Yuzu. Did you really think your mother wasn't going to notice?"

"…I guess not."

"So anyways, what's this about you finding Mei dashing?"

"Geez, Mom!" Yuzu complained, flailing her arms about as her head exploded with heat. Her mother just guffawed, her face red for a completely different reason.

"I'm just kidding," she chided, waving her drink around absently. "But I guess you do know what I mean, kiddo. There's just something about that family, isn't there? Both father and daughter…heck, even your grandfather. Just something about them that keeps us coming back."

"Yeah," Yuzu murmured, peering over the edge of the veranda, down to the black abyss below. Was her heart there? "Do you think Mei will always come back, though?"

Her mother smiled weakly. "That's hard for me to say. And it hurts that it's hard. She might be my daughter, but I don't know her as well as I would like to. I'd say you know her better, Yuzu. You're her best friend. What does your heart tell you?"

Putting one sleeved hand over her chest, Yuzu thought that she didn't know what her heart said, because Mei had it, and she was too far away for its voice to be heard.

"It isn't talking right now," was what she ended up saying.

Her mother just nodded.

"Sometimes you can only wait," she said.

* * *

One week later, Mei came home.

Yuzu drove with her mother down to the airport to wait for Mei and her grandfather, standing inside the terminal as the plane's passengers streamed out looking tired and haggard from a thirteen hour flight. Her emerald eyes sought out the many faces in the crowd, but did not yet find the one they wanted to see.

Her mother was standing at the very front of the terminal, wanting to meet Mei as soon as possible. But Yuzu was standing at the very back, where there were almost no people, for a reason she could not explicitly explain. She just felt a need to hold herself back this time, to not dive headfirst into Mei's embrace like she always did.

The crowd parted, and she saw her.

Mei was walking a few steps behind her grandfather, looking as regal as the day she had left. Her back was straight, and a thin black coat graced her frame, painting her features in a way that made Yuzu's eyes dilate. A small suitcase was clattering along behind her.

Yuzu's mother greeted her grandfather first, as was courtesy. They shook hands and exchanged a few warm words, and Yuzu was nominally glad to see that the two seemed to get along. Not that there was any reason they shouldn't be, but they were such opposites that it made her wonder sometimes.

Then again, so were she and Mei.

Her mother was already embracing the girl in question, the raven haired daughter gently hugging back with one free arm. While they were occupied, Yuzu's grandfather made eye contact with her across the terminal. He seemed to nod imperceptibly at her, and she smiled back.

Yuzu's mother was finally done embracing Mei, and the three of them began walking away from the front of the terminal. It was then that Mei seemed to spot Yuzu, her deep eyes finding hers across the wide space between them.

Yuzu felt her breath catch in her throat.

She saw Mei tilt her head and say a few words to her mother, who simply nodded back. The two adults strolled away as Mei began making her way towards Yuzu, her little suitcase gliding across the linoleum floor.

She stopped when she was three feet in front of Yuzu, letting the suitcase hang from her fingertips behind her.

Mei was as gorgeous as Yuzu could remember. The delicate framing of her hair, the flawless eyes, that royal air that seemed to dwarf the people milling aimlessly around them. They were in the middle of a bustling crowd, but the two of them just stood there, staring at each other in silence. Somewhere outside a plane took off, and the intercom announced a lane change.

For a moment, Yuzu wondered if they were going to turn to stone here.

Then the suitcase was falling from Mei's fingers, its handle clattering against the ground as the girl rushed forward, arms coming up to pull Yuzu into a tight embrace.

The blonde felt her eyes widen when she was pulled into the hug, as Mei's scent wreathed around them. The younger girl tightened her hold on her, fingers pressing into Yuzu's shoulders, as she hugged her hard around the waist, nose buried somewhere in the taller girl's shoulder.

"God, I missed you so much," Mei shuddered once, and that was all she said.

But it was all she had to say.

Yuzu's arms were already reaching up, and then she was hugging Mei back, stroking the girl's hair soothingly as she continued to shiver.

"It's okay," she murmured, kissing the tip of Mei's ear. "It's okay. You're home now."

"I was just so busy, I could barely even call, I-"

"It's okay," Yuzu insisted, pulling back and holding Mei by the shoulders. "You came back. And that's all that matters to me."

Mei gazed wondrously at her, eyes glistening. Yuzu just smiled and cupped her lover's face, brushing both thumbs beneath those eyes she adored so much.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she whispered at last, barely audible over the din of the crowd.

Yuzu just laughed, leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together.

"You were you, Mei," she grinned. "That's more than enough."

Then, pressing upwards, she kissed Mei for the first time in four weeks.

"I love you, Mei," she murmured, "Don't ever change, and don't ever leave me for good. Okay?"

Mei stood still for a single moment, before she laced her fingers through Yuzu's and brushed their noses together, closing her tired eyes in content.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

No matter how far Mei flew, Yuzu knew her sister would always come back home.

* * *

 **Another chapter written in the spur of the moment. Maybe I should plan these things out a little better.**

 **Anyways, just a thought I had that I found to be interesting enough to write about. There are a lot of unanswered questions in the "Citrus universe", now that I really think about it. The real relationship between Sho and Yuzu's mom being one of them (not to mention that Yuzu's mom literally doesn't have a name? I don't know how many times I had to refer to her as 'Yuzu's mother').**

 **But yeah, hope you enjoyed. Whatever I write next, it probably well be more fluffy.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **~Banshee**


	5. Want

Chapter 5: Want

As smart as she was, Mei could not predict the future.

Being aware of this, she had tried to make the most of her relationship with Yuzu while it lasted. Looking back, she could confidently say that those high school years she spent with the blonde were some of the best in her relatively short life. It only took a little effort on her part; she simply had to become open to Yuzu's energy, and the girl would take her to places she could only have dreamed of.

But like all things, that had to pass someday.

Mei wasn't always going to be the next one in line to take over the school, because one day she would be _the_ one in charge of the school. And as ditzy she Yuzu was, the blonde was strong and motivated enough to find her own path in life. Furthermore, there was no guarantee that their destinies would continue to converge in the future.

She knew this, but did nothing about it. What could she do, to divert fate?

So when they both graduated from high school bound for different colleges, Mei had chosen to accept it as the ending of something good. Yuzu had found an interest in journalism and media studies, and planned to study those subjects in university. Mei would be taking business and managing courses herself. The raven haired girl considered it a blessing, those three years with Yuzu; perhaps even an undeserved blessing. So she hadn't tried to fight their parting. It wouldn't be fair on her part.

Yuzu had known, too, that as much as they loved each other it couldn't last forever.

"Maybe we'll start this up again one day," she had smiled, cupping Mei's face in her hands one night. "Maybe we'll come back together eventually. But for now…I think you're right. I think we need to find ourselves before we find each other."

Academically, her university years passed without issue. The classes were challenging but not impossible, and she enjoyed the opportunity to prove herself. It was all she had done her entire life, after all. She was good at it. But the solemn shield of loneliness that had shrouded her throughout high school seemed to follow her into college, and she never had very many friends during her time there. There were some Himekos, of course, and the occasional Harumi, but she never grew to care for them as much as the originals. They felt like substitutes for a teacher who had quit without telling anyone.

On top of that, she didn't see anyone. Part of her argued that it was because she was simply too busy to do so, but she knew that was a lie. She was no longer tied to the student council like she was in high school, so in a way she had more time than ever on her hands. But the thought of holding her heart out to the world again, indulging in someone's presence like she had with Yuzu, was almost impossible to stomach.

There were suitors, of course. Men and women both, who approached her with as much bravery as they could muster. Mei never treated them harshly, because she had matured past that, but she never felt compelled to open herself up to them, either. Not like she had with Yuzu. She always ended up comparing things to Yuzu. Eventually people would grow tired of her barriers and leave, and she wasn't too disappointed to watch them go.

Some of the people she turned down also happened to be extremely well connected, individuals who could have greatly benefited her career in the future. But she didn't feel bothered by the lost opportunities that she let go. She couldn't mix emotions and business anymore like she used to; she had lost the stomach for it. Yuzu had seen to that.

 _Yuzu._

They texted regularly, of course, and met whenever they both came home for the holidays. But that felt sour in the same way long distance relationships were always destined to fail. There was simply something in being able to see someone every day, being there all the time, that couldn't be simulated by the greatest technology on the planet. No more spontaneous walks home from school in the rain, no more surprise kisses from behind, no more lingering looks and secretive smiles. Mei wasn't very good at the little things, not like Yuzu was.

So in a way, they inevitably drifted further from each other.

It was almost fascinating, actually. Mei had read stories about lovers who grew apart until they were nearly strangers to each other. She had read the novels. She had seen _5 Centimeters Per Second._ And as much as she enjoyed them, she had always considered them to be unrealistic at the same time. There was no way one could achieve such personal intimacy with someone and let that drift away forever.

But the way things were going, it seemed like she was going to have to eat her words.

Soon enough the instinctive comparisons became almost too much to bear. When her few friends asked for help with an assignment Mei did her best to assist them, and for the most part they picked things up quickly. It made her almost disappointed, because teaching Yuzu had been so much more difficult, but that had been a reward in itself. When she saw a blonde head in the crowd some days she felt her heart rate spike, and she was strain to see the woman's face even though she knew it wasn't Yuzu, that it wasn't ever going to be Yuzu.

It was so stupid. She was better than this. She was _stronger_ than this, wasn't she? Or she had been, at least. Until Yuzu came along and convinced her it was okay to be weak, once in a while.

There were days when, in the middle of studying, Mei would pause and wonder which one of them had lost. When things changed, one side gained and the other lost. That was simply how it worked; so had she lost Yuzu, or had Yuzu lost her?

Most days, she felt like it was the former. As much as people praised her, as much as everyone encouraged Yuzu to be more like her sister, Mei knew that people like herself were easily replaced. The quiet, unemotional, hardworking type with nonexistent social capabilities. People like her weren't just a dime a dozen, they were a penny and thousand. Given how annoying and cumbersome life had the potential to be, this shouldn't come to a surprise to anyone.

But people like Yuzu, who were filled with such a genuine energy and kindness, were a true rarity nowadays. In fact, honesty was something Mei believed the world was running out of. Her fellow classmates were only her friends as long as she remained useful to them. Everything was about point A to B, even her, but only Yuzu had ever been concerned about the journey between. The notion seized Mei to the point that she wrote one of her research papers on it, almost stunning her professor with its contents. In it she postulated that they were all wooden mannequins in a great, elaborate game of three dimensional chess, making all the necessary sacrifices to win the game.

He had praised her profusely, but she didn't feel like he really got the point.

Nothing felt real to her anymore.

* * *

Halfway through her final semester at college, her grandfather passed away.

It didn't come as much of a surprise. He had been of ailing health for years leading up to the day, and Mei had done all her grieving during that time. So when she got the call, she hardly felt anything. What emotion was there in an expected outcome? Everyone was destined to die, and her grandfather's passing hadn't been untimely. It was going to end one way or another.

Just like her and Yuzu, but she couldn't bring herself to feel as emotionless about that.

The funeral was held on a quiet Sunday with not a single cloud in the sky. As Mei stood at the front of the small crowd gathered around her grandfather's casket and watched the local preacher speak about the man's life, she wondered if this was what he had wanted for her. She was finally going to take the reins, but to what end?

Since childhood, everything had been done on an "and then" basis. First she would be born, and then she would be groomed. She would be groomed, and then she would succeed. After she succeeded, she would do it again in the other sense, by taking her grandfather's place. And then…

And then what?

It came as a sudden shock to her, right in the middle of that funeral as the preacher's voice floated soporifically across the gravestones, that there was nothing solid after that. She would become the new head of the school, and then…nothing. It was just that forever. The goal she had dreamed about since childhood was finally here, and now that she had made it she didn't have anything else to look forward to.

She had gone from point A to B, under the delusion the entire time that there was a point C after that. But there wasn't, just a cold, empty abyss of her doing a job she didn't really want to do, now that she thought about it.

The thought was so horrifying that she started crying softly, right there, and her stepmother had sorrowfully put a hand to her daughter's shoulder, not knowing what the girl was actually crying about.

A few hours later the ceremony was over, and the casket was lowered in to the earth forever. Mei watched the last of her future descend into the darkness with that casket. In a way, her grandfather had been delaying the inevitable this whole time. As long as he lived, Mei was allowed to live as she pleased. Only now had the full responsibility fallen to her.

The families around her spoke briefly before heading home, back to their own friends and their own loved ones. But Mei had no one, so she stood by the gravestone for hours, staring at the ground and thinking, thinking.

She was accomplished, but she wasn't satisfied.

But didn't one naturally lead to the other?

"I'll keep my promise, Grandfather," Mei whispered softly to the grave at her feet. "I'll look after the school you made. I'll fulfill your legacy. I'll do everything you asked of me…but I won't like it. I never will."

She must have grown some real balls in college, she thought, because that was the only way she could possibly be saying this to someone who had literally been laid to rest that same day. But it was the truth, and she wasn't willing to run from it. She wanted to do what she wanted to do. She wanted…

What did she want?

It was strange, really, because she wanted, but she didn't know what she wanted. So as she stood in the cold, quiet cemetery, listening to the grass whisper with the regrets of the dead, she thought about what it really was that she desired from life, now that she had done everything she had promised to do.

Want. Desire. Need, yearning, longing, craving, hunger, passion. All these words but no subject to apply them to. Mei supposed that was all that her years in school had gained her. Every tool in the universe but no project to use them on. She could do everything but she wanted nothing. Wasn't that exactly what a machine was?

 _Want. Need. I need…_

 _Yuzu._

"Mei."

Turning, she faced the blonde for the first time in months. Yuzu was standing at the far end of the row of graves, wrapped in a thick coat to combat the cold. Her emerald eyes were as bright and bewitching as Mei remembered.

"Yuzu," she replied bluntly, turning to face the girl fully. "What are you still doing here?"

"I noticed you weren't around, and mom told me you were still back here." Yuzu eyed her intently. "Are you okay?"

There was something differently about Yuzu's voice now, Mei realized. Gone was the nervousness the blonde had used to address her in the past. She was more confident now, more sure of herself. She was strong enough to stand on her own.

She didn't need Mei anymore.

"I'm fine." She began walking towards Yuzu, who watched her quietly. "Just thinking, is all."

The blonde smiled. "I feel like that's all you ever do."

 _If only you knew, Yuzu,_ Mei thought, stopping when she drew level with her sister, staring past her to the gate. _I'm just a thinker, and you're a doer. That's why you were always going to leave me behind one day._

She made to step forward again and leave, but not before Yuzu called out to her.

"Are you moving back here after you graduate?"

Mei stopped. "Yes."

Yuzu gazed at her imploringly. "Will you get a place of your own?"

"Most likely." Mei didn't want to impose on her stepmother anymore. As good as their relationship was, it just didn't feel right. "Somewhere close to the school, I think. I'll be spending a lot of time there."

"Hm." Yuzu hummed, reaching into her bag. As Mei watched, the blonde pulled out a sheaf of paper and scribbling something on it.

"Here," she said, handing it to Mei, who took it gingerly. "My new number. Had to change the old one. Text me sometime when you find a place. I'll help you move in, maybe?"

Then she was gone, disappearing through the gate and leaving Mei alone amongst the graves.

She hadn't even known Yuzu had a different number now. She hadn't called or texted the blonde in ages.

Slowly, she read the sequence of numbers scrawled on the paper. Even the handwriting was different. It was like her sister had become an entirely different person.

Was someone like that worth pursuing again?

* * *

Two months later she graduated, and a month after that she found a new place to live in her hometown.

She didn't take up on Yuzu's offer to help move in, but she did text her the new address, without anything else attached. She didn't know how to start a conversation with the blonde. Not anymore.

Besides, there was a lot left to do. The school had hired an interim president during her absence, but now that she was back in time to take charge of things. The next several weeks were filled with adjusting to her inherited position, learning the ropes, learning whose people's shoes she could step on.

Slowly, the episode in the cemetery receded further into the back of her mind. In a way, she was almost willing to forget about it entirely. Yuzu was out there somewhere, conquering the world in her own way, and Mei had her own problems to deal with.

But a week later, the blonde appeared on her doorstep.

"Hey," Yuzu said nonchalantly, smiling reassuringly at Mei, who was staring at her dumbly through a crack in her front door. She was still in her pajamas, and didn't know how she felt about opening the door fully.

"I said I would come eventually," the blonde said, shrugging at the questions in Mei's eyes. "Unless you didn't want me to?"

Mei blinked. Did she not? No, she did. She _really_ did. She wanted Yuzu to come in so badly that it hurt.

So she stepped aside and let the girl in.

Inside, they both sat down and had the first real conversation in over four years. Life had kept them apart for that long, and they had a lot of catching up to do. They laughed, they scowled, but most importantly, they shared. Once again, their paths had chosen to interconnect.

But everything still had the taint of unfamiliarity to it. Yuzu was still the same girl Mei had grown to love at her core, but everything on the outside had changed so much. Yuzu was so enigmatic, so confident, so much more intelligent now. The blonde had really flowered in college. She spoke knowledgeably about things Mei could only comment on, and she seemed to have experienced so much more than her.

Not to mention that Yuzu was even more gorgeous than ever, if that was even possible. People told Mei that she was pretty, but Yuzu…she was simply beautiful. So much to the extent that she found herself gazing intently at the blonde's features as they spoke long into the night.

It was just another thing to miss.

Eventually Yuzu had to go home, and Mei was surprised to feel sorry that the girl had to go. She hadn't felt that way about anything in a long while. But Yuzu promised they would see each other again, and Mei could only believe the girl's words. She would have to trust Yuzu.

Oh, how the tables had turned.

A week later they met again, sharing coffee at a cafe before taking a walk through the city. This time, the mythicism that had surrounded Yuzu seemed to have abated. Or perhaps Mei had simply grown used to it. They made plans to meet yet again, and again, and again…

Mei didn't know why she felt so differently about Yuzu now, as compared to the past. She had loved her sister passionately, of course, but it was a different sort of love. The kind she wasn't afraid to give out, because back then Yuzu had always been so dependent on her. But now her sister was doing just fine on her own, and that threw Mei off a little. It made her reevaluate how she treated the girl, not to mention how she felt about her.

But little by little, Mei found herself falling for this new version of Yuzu too. This Yuzu had everything the old one had, except she was more confident, more mature. In a way, that drew Mei in even more effectively than the teenage Yuzu's charming innocence.

They quickly made it a tradition to hang out every Saturday, and this time it was usually Yuzu deciding when and where they would meet. And unlike in the past, Mei put genuine effort into each and every meeting they had. Because it had become apparent to her that while Yuzu might want Mei, she certainly didn't need her.

It was both motivational and terrifying.

Of course, there was no guarantee that Yuzu felt the same way anymore. To her, they might just be two close sisters who enjoyed each other's company. There was certainly nothing wrong with that; indeed, it was stranger for Mei to push for another romantic relationship between them. The thought cowed her, and four full months passed without her doing anything past friendship.

But then came one night, when they were spending time in Mei apartment, languidly watching a movie together. They were both occupying a small couch, though they kept a respectful distance from each other. A friendly distance. One Mei absolutely hated.

As the television flickered in the dark of the room, Yuzu watched the movie, and Mei watched Yuzu. She had learned a lot of things about those four years, what Yuzu had done with that time. She knew that the blonde had seen a few people on occasion, unlike herself. Some men, some women. It seemed that even she wasn't sure of what she really wanted.

Yet as Mei let her eyes cling to her sister's breathtaking features, she remembered what she had said to her grandfather at his grave, and was seized by a sudden desire to reclaim Yuzu for herself. It was so sudden that it scared her, but it was undeniable, she _wanted_ Yuzu, for the first time in forever she actually wanted something, so badly and so completely that it felt like she would die if she didn't satisfy this urge. It tore at her ribcage and strangled her heart, screaming do it, take it, make her yours, before you lose her again and you descend into another endless purgatory with no real purpose!

Mei had no idea when her conscious became so literate, but she couldn't argue against it.

So, closing her eyes, she leaned forward and caught Yuzu's lips with her own.

The blonde froze upon contact, and for one long moment the movie played to a silent room.

Then graceful fingers came to grasp at Mei's head, and Yuzu was kissing her back.

 _Oh my god,_ Mei thought, almost brought to tears by the realization. It was a brief, chaste kiss, and they parted a moment later, staring quietly into each other's eyes.

"Since when?" the blonde breathed, drawing a thumb across Mei's ear, who shuddered. The girl's scent, her touch, her feel, _everything_ , was rushing back in after four long years. "When did you start feeling like this again?"

"I never stopped," Mei whispered, before kissing her again.

* * *

They dated for two years.

It was a long two years, and the first month was the hardest. Because this time, Yuzu refused to hide their relationship from anyone. Mei initially balked at the idea, but the blonde insisted upon it, and she had ultimately agreed. They were both adults now; regardless of how immoral people might consider their relationship, they had a responsibility to be honest.

Besides, honesty was in scarcity nowadays, right?

Their mother was understandably shocked, and though she was visibly conflicted about the entire thing, she didn't yell or shout at them. In the end she sent them away, asking for a few days to think about it, because neither of them had any intention of carrying this out without their mother's blessing.

The woman was also the only one they chose to tell about their previous relationship in high school, although they did choose to leave out the more…explicit details of their partnership.

Two days later their mother called on Yuzu's phone, and Mei pressed her cheek to Yuzu's in order to listen in.

 _"Alright, girls,"_ the woman sighed from the other end. _"You know I love you both to death, right? And that I only want the best for you?"_

They agreed.

Their mother exhaled slowly. _"If you make each other happy…I can't say no. Not ever. You have my blessing, you two. So long as you believe it's what you really want."_

"Well?" Yuzu asked teasingly after ending the call. "Do you really want me?"

"Yes," Mei murmured, gliding her nose across the girl's chin. "I do. I want you always."

It was an unfamiliar feeling, but it was real.

The rest of their friends were a bit more surprised by the news, and there was a little backlash, but for the most part there was a positive response. After a lifetime of doing what other people had deemed appropriate for her, Mei had been afraid of doing something for herself, and was glad for the lack of persecution.

"When someone really wants something, it's hard to deny them," Yuzu said once.

Thank god for that.

The next two years were some of the best in Mei's life. There were times when Mei realized her success could largely be attributed to others; her future had been decided for her from the start, after all, and she had been given all the necessary advantages to excel. So in a way, many of the things she had were not her own.

But Yuzu was something she had acquired because she really, genuinely wanted to.

And that made her more important than anything else.

* * *

Progression was the only thing that made life worth living.

Mei had realized that in the graveyard that one night, when she had broken down in front of her grandfather's frigid casket. Life wasn't defined by point A or B. There had to be a point C, and D, and an E and a million more points in all the languages in the world, and then some. Life only really ended when people lost the strength to desire something.

So in a way, she had been dead for four years.

Now, as she stood on the white sand of the beach and stared out over the sea, Mei thought back to something one of her college professors had told her, that evolution was the best way to survive. How true that was, she thought, as she watched the waves eat away at the beach. Letting the good things go, sitting down and expecting to be satisfied by that…it was metaphorical suicide. Maybe even literal.

For the past two years, she had tried her best to keep her relationship with Yuzu constantly evolving. She learned to be more spontaneous. She caught the blonde from behind to steal quick kisses. She murmured that she loved her without prompting. She left little gifts when she saw something she knew Yuzu would like.

But more than that, she never again assumed that she was perfect. She had lost Yuzu the first time because she had been unwilling to compromise herself or her future. But was there any real future without Yuzu? To her, the answer was no.

So Mei never forgot that feeling in her chest, the visceral realization that Yuzu had grown so much and gone so far while she had stagnated in comparison. It had been humiliating, and humbling. Life moved ahead whether you were willing to follow or not, and it was better to follow along than get left behind in the darkness.

"You know," Mei said aloud, "I've always hated the stars."

Yuzu snorted by her side, twining their fingers together for warmth. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"They never move. They never change," Mei elaborated, craning her neck to stare at the little points of light in the sky. "They do the same thing every day, and one day we'll forget them."

"I can't blame them," Yuzu pointed out, leaning into Mei as she followed her lover's gaze. "They look beautiful."

"But they're all alone up there."

"True."

Setting her jaw, Mei thought back to all the planning that had gone into this moment, to the little box pressing against the fingers shoved into her right coat pocket. This was it. This was going to be her evolution, no, _their_ evolution. She wouldn't let them rot away again, like they had before.

Turning to face her lover, Mei took both of the girl's hands and held them up, gazing into those emerald eyes she dreamed about every day.

"I don't want to be like those stars," she said. "I don't want to burn out in some dark corner of space. I want to become someone who's better than that. Someone good. Someone good enough for you."

Yuzu smiled at her affectionately. "You _are_ good enough for me, Mei. You know that."

Mei blushed, and she nearly tripped over her next words. "Perhaps. But I want to keep it that way. I never want to lose you again, Yuzu. I'll only make that mistake once in my life. I'm going to keep changing. I'm going to keep wanting, because it's the only real way to live. I'm never going to stop wanting you."

So as she got down on one knee and pull the ring out of her pocket, and Yuzu's eyes widened, she asked,

"Yuzu, will you allow me to desire you forever?"

Above them, the stars winked jealously.

* * *

Sigh. Another chapter written in one mad rush. I don't know what the point of these chapters is, since I'm just splurging these out. Not to mention I hadn't written anything in a while.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I read the new Citrus raws in Japanese and had absolutely no idea what was going on, by the way. The struggle is real.

~Banshee


	6. Harumi Has a Plan

Just some dumb shit I came up with yesterday.

* * *

Chapter 6: Harumi Has a Plan

Yuzu held a strand of her hair between her lips as she thought intensely, pencil tapping on the edge of her notebook.

Harumi watched her friend just as intently, trying to figure out what was going on with the girl this time. Despite the fact that they were both delinquents of sorts, Yuzu seemed to have infinitely more drama compared to herself.

Then again, she wasn't the one dating her step sister.

"What are you doing?" she asked at last, leaning across the desk and trying to lower Yuzu's notebook, hoping to get a look.

The blonde flailed wildly and snatched her notebook back, scooting her chair away so fast she nearly tipped herself over. "D-Don't look!" she exclaimed, flushing badly.

Harumi just stared. The other students enjoying their lunch in the classroom spared them more cursory glances; they were used to their antics by now. "Why not? You summoning the devil with that or something?"

Yuzu bit her lip. "In a way."

Harumi's eyes quirked. "Do tell me more."

Her friend sighed heavily, darting a look both ways before leaning forward again.

"Promise not to tell anyone?"

"Well, this conversation _was_ slated to be in the paper tomorrow, but I'll pass."

Yuzu just rolled her eyes and set the notebook down, letting it fall shut. "…It's about Mei."

 _Of course it is._ "What about her?"

The blonde fiddled nervously with the hems of her sleeves. "Well, you know the two of us have been dating…"

"So I've heard."

"And well, you know, couples like to do…certain things," Yuzu continued evasively, throwing in an equally vague wave of the hand. "Problem is…I'm not very good at it."

Harumi stared at her friend. "Are you asking me for sex advice?"

Yuzu blushed heavily again. "No! I mean-" she fumbled for a second before lowering her head. "Yeah, I guess. But not what to do! I can handle that. It's just…I never know what to say."

The other girl tossed a roll into her mouth. "Say?"

"Yeah, you know," Yuzu affirmed, gesticulating vaguely again. Harumi had the indistinct urge to glue the girl's hands to the table. "It's awkward if we're just silent, right? So I try to talk to her. But I don't know what to say."

"Just read a math textbook out loud to her," Harumi suggested, chewing on a second roll. "I bet that'll get her going."

Yuzu frowned. "I'm serious."

"And you think I'm not?" Harumi shrugged, which earned an exasperated sigh from the blonde. "Or you could file paperwork and make her watch."

Yuzu's forehead hit the desk. "Nevermind," she muttered, her lunch forgotten by her elbow.

Harumi laughed, swallowing and third roll. "Well, I don't see what you-" she paused when something suddenly occurred to her.

Yuzu looked up. "What?"

This just might be the perfect opportunity. If Harumi could dictate Yuzu's actions around Mei, she just might be able to pull an indirect prank on the Prez, not to mention pull off a little cockblocking (or was it pussyblocking?).

"Listen, Yuzu," she said seriously, leaning forward. "I have a plan…"

* * *

"Hey, Mei!" Yuzu said brightly, slipping into their shared room. Her little sister was working quietly on their bed, small sheafs of paper scattered around her.

"Hello, Yuzu," Mei said absentmindedly, before returning to her work.

The blonde pursed her lips, toying with the small earpiece she had fastened to her left ear. She could hear Harumi breathing softly on the other end of the connection.

 _"Get her attention for now,"_ Harumi suggested softly, to avoid detection.

Striding across the room, Yuzu crawled onto the bed on all fours, pushing the little sheets of paper aside. "Hey," she said softly, pulling up to her sister's side. "Pay attention to me."

She reached out and tentatively touched Mei's elbow, trying to appear casual.

Mei just frowned at her, hands going still over her laptop keyboard. "I'm busy right now, Yuzu. We can talk a little later."

"But-"

 _"Say you have to tell her something!"_ Harumi commanded, sensing they were about to lose control of the situation.

"I-I have to tell you something!" Yuzu blurted out, catching Mei's attention again. Blinking, the raven haired girl closed her laptop and set it aside, giving Yuzu her fully undivided attention.

"What is it?"

 _Uhhh…_ Yuzu flatlined mentally.

 _"Tell her that if her legs were a convenience store, they'd be open twenty four seven,"_ Harumi suggested.

Yuzu almost sneezed. "What?!"

Mei flinched at the sudden exclamation. "What do you mean, what?" she asked crossly. "And why are you wearing on earpiece?"

"Um-"

 _"Just do it!"_

"If your legs were a convenience store, they'd be open twenty four seven!" Yuzu blurted out again, her face an impressive shade of red.

Mei went completely still, the look on her face unfathomable. Yuzu knew immediately that this wasn't a good idea. She screwed her eyes shut, waiting for her sister to kick her out of the room.

But then there was a soft rustling sound, as Mei shifted in the bed and swallowed thickly.

"Go on," she whispered, eyes dark.

"Um," Yuzu emoted, her mind going into overdrive as Harumi continued to relay instructions through the earpiece. "I'm…I'm going to violate you like the laws of physics."

Mei closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, as if physically affected by the words. One hand came up to caress Yuzu's cheek, who in all honesty had no fucking idea what she was doing.

"Tell me more."

"Your legs are longer than a line on Black Friday."

"Oh…"

 _What the hell is going on?_ Yuzu wondered dumbly as Mei fell back in the bed, pulling the blonde along with her so that she was pressed firmly against her. Well, whatever it was, it was definitely working.

 _"Your eyes are brighter than my future,"_ Harumi said, and Yuzu relayed the message to great effect. Mei actually blushed, reaching up to grasp the back of the blonde's neck.

"Come here," the girl whispered sultrily, picking the earpiece out and tossing it across the room.

 _"Hello? Yuzu?"_ Harumi called out from her end, but all she heard with a particularly satisfied moan from Mei.

"Thanks, Harumi!" Yuzu shouted at the earpiece, before Mei shut her up with a kiss.

Sometimes Harumi's plans tended to backfire.


	7. Give and Take

This chapter is rated L for Lewd. So yes, smut.

* * *

Chapter 7: Give and Take

Yuzu tapped her foot nervously as Mei sat on the foot of the bed in front of her, the student council president quietly examining a sheaf of papers in her hands.

For the past twenty days, the blonde had absolutely busted her ass studying for the year's finals. She had known a month prior that she was primed to perfectly bomb every final in every class, and had been completely fine with the realization. That was, until Mei happened to check her grades. That had ended in the raven haired girl shutting the blonde's entire social life down in order to make room to cram an entire year's worth of material into two mad weeks of studying.

Maintain your standing in the top one hundred, Mei had dictated, and you can have your life back.

But until then, that meant almost no texting, no late night television, no spontaneous trips to the city with Harumi, and certainly on sex. The last item was especially forbidden; Mei was fully aware how easy it was to lose track of time when they were both occupied with each other.

Mei hadn't expressly said what the consequences would be should Yuzu fail, but the blonde was more than willing to assume they would be dire. So she fidgeted impatiently as her sister held her final tests in her hands, which she had brought home for grading along with the rest of the class's exams.

It all came down to this.

It was almost cruel, really. Mei hadn't just withdrawn the comforts of her own body from Yuzu's grasp these past couple of weeks.

The girl had banned her from any acts of physical self indulgence, as well.

Mei pursed her lips as she tapped a pen against her chin, a pair of reading glasses perched atop her nose. Yuzu thought she looked pretty good in those glasses, always had, and she willingly allowed herself to become distracted by the sight. She would ask the girl to wear them more often, if it wouldn't lead to her being accused of fetishization.

Finally, her younger sister picked up the laptop sitting on the bed beside her, opening up a spreadsheet and punching in some quick calculations. Her lavender colored eyes scanned briefly behind lenses that reflected the light from the computer screen.

Then, with one final huff, Mei closed the laptop and set it and the papers on the floor, looking up at Yuzu with a small congratulatory smile.

"Congratulations. You passed."

Yuzu's jaw dropped. "Seriously?!"

"Yes, seriously," Mei sighed, though her smile lingered. "Number ninety nine, to be precise. You always squeak by, somehow."

"Wow," Yuzu muttered, impressed with herself. Then the thing that had been on her mind this entire time reoccured to her. "So…does that mean the ban is lifted?"

Mei stared innocently up at her, long lashes framed by those endearing lenses. "What ban?"

Yuzu pouted and narrowed her eyes, leaning forward until her knees pressed against the bed and she could lean in close to Mei, using one hand to support herself. "You know what I mean, Mei. Don't play dumb with me!"

Mei simply averted her gaze, reaching up to remove her reading glasses. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

But Yuzu surprised her by using her free hand to push the glasses back onto her face. The younger girl looked up, blinking, only to find the blonde's dark eyes startlingly close to her own.

"Don't lie to me, Mei," she whispered quietly, before closing the distance between them.

Mei let out a small squeak when their lips met, mouth instinctively opening under the habit of practice to accept Yuzu's embrace. As demanding as she might be, Mei was not an unfair person. She wasn't going to let Yuzu go through her sexual abstinence alone.

So yes, she was needy too. _Considerably_ so. But she wasn't about to admit it to Yuzu so easily.

As if in response to her name, the blonde slipped her tongue into Mei's mouth, and the last of her facade was obliterated.

They both fell back onto the bed, with Yuzu immediately crawling on top of her sister before deepening the kiss. Mei started in muted surprise at this, unaccustomed to being faced with a proactive Yuzu, especially when it came to times like this. Usually she was the one in charge. She immediately considered regaining control of her situation, but then Yuzu pinned her arms to the mattress, and any hopes of rebellion were effectively quashed.

"Yu…oh…" Mei's cry trailed off in disbelief when Yuzu used one hand to grab her sister's hair and taste her even deeper, using the other to hold both of Mei's wrists together. Their tongues glided feverishly against each other for one prolonged moment, and then they had to break apart for air, both girls breathing heavily.

Mei gulped when she saw the almost twisted expression on Yuzu's face. It was one marked with a purely unadulterated desire, so ardent and genuine that it awakened the need she had been suppressing within herself for these past weeks. She felt a little bad for both of them, to be honest.

"I…" Yuzu reached up and wiped at the corner of her mouth, blushing abruptly. "I'm sorry. I just…it's been so long…"

With that said, she leaned down and reclaimed Mei's mouth, which she willingly gave up. The blonde did not relinquish her hold on Mei's wrists, and the younger girl found herself squirming desperately when Yuzu pressed herself against her, wanting to free her hands and roam them all over the contours of her body-

"Yuzu," she hissed, her hushed voice tickled Yuzu's ear, who was now busy kissing her way down Mei's jaw. "I need-"

The blonde turned her head and bit Mei harshly, hard enough to leave marks.

Mei yelped and actually flinched, completely caught off guard by the unexpected move. Customarily it was _her_ disciplining _Yuzu_ , not the other way around.

"Quiet," Yuzu murmured, lowering her head to lick soothingly at the bite mark. Mei shivered violently when she felt the blonde's tongue caressing the shallow indents left by her teeth. "You put me through hell these last two weeks, Mei. This is payback."

 _Payback?_ she thought wildly, feeling Yuzu's hand leave her wrists as the older girl descended down the length of Mei's body, deftly popping open the buttons of her dress shirt, planting a kiss upon every expanse of flesh that each button revealed. Was that what this was? It was too much to process at once. A dominant Yuzu for one, being this horny for another-

Yuzu had her shirt open all the way to the bottom by now, exposing her flushed chest and torso to the cool air. Circling her arms around Mei's body, she unhooked the girl's bra and tossed it aside, revealing her breasts to the blonde's unwavering gaze. Mei actually blushed when she looked down at saw Yuzu gazing so intently back up at her, feeling the coil between her legs tighten even further.

Reaching up, Yuzu squeezed one breasts gently, making Mei gasp and arch into her touch. Her blush tripled in intensity when she saw Yuzu smirk, before the blonde returned to teasing Mei's navel with her tongue, pressing the flexible muscle against her skin as she continued to descend downwards.

Yuzu squeezed her chest again, her thumb brushing the nipple almost as if in command. And Mei found herself obeying, letting out a high pitched mewl as her legs parted instinctively, making room for Yuzu to nestle herself between them.

The blonde undid the zipper on Mei's skirt, who was more than willing to help get out of them. After kicking it aside, Yuzu reclaimed her spot between Mei's legs, suppressing the sudden urge to groan at the sight presented before her.

"Mei…" she whispered, turning her head and kissing her way up the girl's leg, using her teeth to lightly graze the skin. "Mei…"

Mei felt her core clench harder the closer those kisses got, and when Yuzu finally reached the junction between her legs, close enough that she could feel the blonde's breath through her clothed arousal, she was forced to bite down on a finger to keep from crying out. Forget regaining control. She would be lucky to get out of this with her sanity.

Yuzu had taken to brushing her nose against the skin around Mei's crotch, murmuring sweet nothings as she otherwise continued to absolutely torture her little sister. Mei clenched her teeth, knowing full well that she yearned to be indulged _immediately,_ and she didn't know what came over her in that moment, but..

Reaching down, her fingers instinctively found the junction between her legs, slipping beneath her panties before entering her most private area.

Mei moaned throatily when she quite literally filled herself, hips twitching at the sensation of being caressed for the first time in over two weeks. She was wet, impressively so, and her fingers slipped inside so easily that she almost didn't feel the friction. Her hand pumped once, almost without thought, in order to achieve that much needed friction.

It then came to her attention that Yuzu had gone completely still in front of her, and it finally occurred to her just what the hell she was doing.

Freezing, she looked down the length of her body, slowly retracting her hand. Yuzu was staring back at her with a shocked look on her face. Or perhaps the word was impressed?

"I…" Mei mumbled, blushing hard enough to burst the arteries in her neck and face. "Um…" she removed her fingers entirely, shivering slightly when she felt her folds become empty again, pulling her arm back up towards her person. Maybe if she played this off well enough-

But Yuzu preempted her once again by reaching out and grabbing Mei's wrist, stilling the fingers that were still glistening with proof of the girl's arousal.

"I want to see," she said simply, eyes boring into her.

Mei balked. "Excuse me?"

The eagerness in Yuzu's eyes didn't waver. "I said I want to see. I want to watch you, Mei."

The girl's heart clenched when she fully realized what Yuzu was suggesting. "What…I…no!" she barked at last, wrenching her arm free and holding it against her chest. "Do you realize what you are insinuating?"

Yuzu grinned back at her. "You seemed happy enough to do is just now."

"I lost control of myself," Mei snapped back, feeling her pride come back into effect. She had let it dissipated in the heat of the moment, but now it was back in full force.

"I know," Yuzu said, brushing her nose along Mei's thigh as she spoke, eyes locked with hers all the while. Mei found herself gulping at the sight. "And I want to see it again, Mei. Your vulnerability. I think I might have become addicted to it."

Mei stared. "Just what has come over you?"

Yuzu's eyes flashed. "This is what happens when you deprive me of sex for two weeks."

The raven haired girl gulped again. She was certainly reaping both the benefits and the disadvantages of that ban in full. But even if she were to comply with Yuzu's request…wait no. She wasn't going to actually consider this. Was she actually considering this? The very idea was absurd. For Yuzu to think that Mei would willingly touch herself when she _knew_ the other girl was there, watching…

The thought was actually incredibly arousing, and she hated herself for it. Her body was _not_ cooperating with her today.

"Wouldn't you rather do it yourself?" she challenged, looking down at her lover. "You said it yourself. You want this as badly as I do."

Yuzu smiled, fingers playing absentmindedly with the hem of Mei's panties. "I do," she admitted, letting a thumb dip precariously beneath the waistband before emerging again. "But I want to see this even more. I will help you, Mei. But first…you must help yourself."

Mei narrowed her eyes at the fact that she was being given an ultimatum, in the middle of sex, no less. The realization that this conversation had even gotten this far was laughable on its own. Yuzu must be feeling particularly ballsy if she was pushing for this.

But…the more she entertained the idea, the more she was tempted to try it. It would be humiliating, certainly, and embarrassing beyond any stretch of the imagination, but the thought itself was simply so _exciting_. To expose that side of herself, the self indulgent, wanting version of Mei that only emerged behind a locked door when the rest of the house was empty, to the person she loved the most in this world. When paired with this new, dominant side of Yuzu, the idea became almost irresistible in her mind.

Besides, didn't Yuzu deserve a reward for her hard work?

Looking down at the blonde once more, Mei gave her the most pissed off look she could muster, but her lover just grinned back.

"What…" Mei paused to lick her lips, which had gone mysteriously dry. "What do you want to see, exactly?"

The light in Yuzu's eyes danced in anticipation. "The side you never show anyone, Mei. The one that comes out when you want me, but I'm not around, and it's too bad for you to wait…"

As she spoke, the blonde grasped Mei's panties between her teeth and tugged downwards, exposing her dripping core to the air, not stopping until the underwear was nestled somewhere around the girl's ankle.

Mei's heart thundered when Yuzu then looked up at her expectantly. She was going to do this. She was actually going to do this. God, this was so crazy.

Then again, what about a relationship with Yuzu wasn't going to be crazy?

Closing her eyes, Mei let her head fall back onto the sheets, biting her lower lip nervously. If she was going to go through with this, there was no point in half assing it.

Taking a deep breath, Mei began to fantasize.

It took a good amount of time, several seconds really, before Mei was able to remove herself from the immediate situation. But she did it, slowly but surely, and soon enough she was in the world she had never shared with anyone ever before.

She started slow, reaching up to grasp gently at her breast, the other hand caressing its way down the length of her neck and stomach. She was already considerably aroused, so she could skip the imaginary foreplay she entertained on occasion.

Mei bit her lip harder as she fondled herself, one thumb brushing over her nipple in the perfect only she knew how to do. The other hand slipped between her thighs, feeling at the wetness that was still prevalent there.

"Yuzu," she whispered, surprising the blonde at her mention. Yuzu looked up, eyes wide, as Mei moaned softly, hands moving with a deftness that betrayed just how well she knew her own body. "Yuzu…"

God, she was saying Yuzu's name. The blonde found the realization to be almost dizzyingly erotic, fingers curling against the bedsheets as Mei continued to service herself.

The girl in question seemed to be completely consumed by her fantasy at this point, as she slipped her fingers inside and began grinding her clit against the palm. "Mph…Yuzu!" she cried out, apparently imagining that it was Yuzu's fingers pumping in and out of her pussy at the perfect rhythm, that it was Yuzu's loving touch that suddenly grasped at a nipple and tugged, so harshly that Mei gasped and bucked her hips. Yuzu watched the entire scene in stupefied awe, unused to seeing Mei so open, so _raw_.

Mei's breath was coming out harsh and quick at this point, chest rising and falling almost in sync with the rhythm of her fingers. She stuck two fingers into her mouth before switching breasts, teeth buried so hard into her lower lip that it hurt. She seemed almost to have forgotten that Yuzu was there, as words continued to stream unintelligibly from her mouth.

"Yuzu, your fingers…oh…"

"Do you like them?" Yuzu whispered without thinking, at risk of breaking Mei's fantasy.

But the girl just moaned loudly when the blonde's voice perpetrated her senses, adding further legitimacy to the illusion. "Yes," she gasped, voice punctuated with a particularly deep thrust of her fingers. "I want…I want-"

"Tell me what you want," Yuzu whispered, leaning forward and placing both hands on Mei's spread legs. Her sister had put on a spectacular show, but now she was eager to partake.

"Tongue," Mei answered harshly, fingers retracting to rub almost desperately at her clit. "Yuzu, I want your tongue, please."

Yuzu was not inclined to refuse, so she closed her eyes and slipped her tongue inside as deep as it would go.

Mei cried out so loudly that she was afraid their mother would hear, but the thought was quickly banished when Yuzu began roughly lapping at her cunt, using both hands to hold her twitching hips in place. The wild, raunchy realm of her sexual fantasies clashed messily with the sensations of reality, and she found herself rubbing desperately at her nub as Yuzu ate her out, absolutely _needing_ to achieve release in the most amazing way possible. Her hips ground greedily against Yuzu's insistent tongue, her throat burned with the blonde's name, and then she was there, falling over that incredible edge-!

"Ah! Oh…Sh-shit. Yuzu, I'm coming!" Mei managed to squeak out before she came all over her lover's face, the blonde not flinching away but pressing impossibly closer, wrapping both arms around the girl's hips as they rode out the orgasm together, Mei fisting her fingers in Yuzu's hair and holding her there until her core stopped spasming.

Then it was over, blissfully so, and Mei heard herself gasping for breath as she came down, completely out of breath. She was almost in a daze, like she couldn't see straight. Below her, she felt Yuzu press a loving kiss to her folds, sending a primal shiver up the length of her spine.

"You were amazing," Yuzu murmured lovingly, using her tongue to clean Mei's pussy of its juices. "I love seeing you lose yourself, Mei."

Mei's breath hitched when Yuzu's tongue caressed her now hyper-sensitive flesh, and she sat up on her elbows to catch her lover by the chin. Swallowing heavily, Mei wiped a bit of her own arousal off Yuzu's lip, deciding to think about how embarrassing this was going to be later.

"Give and take, Yuzu," she muttered darkly, as the blonde grinned knowingly. "Get up here. It's your turn."

* * *

Because screw college apps, right?

~Banshee


	8. Anything

Chapter 8: Anything

Mei hated Christmas.

It wasn't because of its religious affiliation, of course, nor due to a morbid fear of Santa Claus (Himeko had apparently had a bad experience at the local mall as a child). No, it was just that she didn't feel like partaking in it. The festivities, the traditions, the atmosphere, the gift giving…it was all a little bit much for her. She preferred to lead a quieter existence.

So when Yuzu slipped into their shared room on the evening of the 23rd, as Mei sat quietly on the bed with paperwork in her hands, she was admittedly caught off guard by their ensuing conversation.

"Whatchu doin?" Yuzu asked, crawling onto the bed and peeking over Mei's shoulder, trying to see what she was reading.

The younger girl shirked away, curling up the sheaf of papers and tucking it beneath her arm like a breadstick that needed protecting. Yuzu's warm shoulder still pressed against hers, however, and she found herself flushing slightly as she said, "It isn't really any of your business."

The blonde just laughed, settling back on her knees on the bed. Mei felt her flush alleviating as her personal space was reconquered. She wasn't quite so good at proximity yet.

"Sorry, just curious," Yuzu apologized, dropping into a more comfortable cross legged position. "Mom just sent me up here to make sure you're free the day after tomorrow? Since you're always so busy and all. Even on breaks."

Mei frowned as she thought about it, pushing her reading glasses back up her nose. Yuzu's eyes seemed to follow the movement, and she felt somewhat self conscious. "I should be free. Why does she ask?"

The blonde frowned. "What do you mean why?"

"What's so important about the day after tomorrow?"

Yuzu stared at her. "It's Christmas, Mei. You know, Jesus's birthday? You know Jesus, right?"

Mei's brain short circuited, and she fought the urge to swear right in Yuzu's face. Christmas! How could she possibly forget? Of all the important dates to not remember…it didn't make any sense, had she really just forgotten? It wasn't as if she paid much attention to that sort of thing, but…

The rather annoying lights their neighbor had put up last week suddenly made a lot more sense to her.

As Mei's mind struggled to grasp the idea that she had forgotten quite literally the most world famous holiday ever to come into tangible existence, Yuzu pouted and crossed her arms, a look of disbelief on her face. "Come on, Mei, don't tell me you actually forgot about Christmas?"

"Of course not!" Mei insisted immediately, though she totally had. She flushed for a different reason this time, pushing Yuzu away with her papers. "Why would I ever forget something like that? Just go tell mother not to worry; I'll be free."

"Okay~" Yuzu sang, jumping off the bed and gliding off to deliver the message.

The moment she was gone Mei slammed the door shut and paced to the window on the opposite end of the room, running her fingers through her hair.

Christmas. Seriously though, why had she forgotten? She had celebrated it before, though she didn't make a habit of going to church, and it had admittedly been quite a few years since the last time. Why had she even stopped to begin with?

As it turned out, her grandfather didn't celebrate the holiday himself, and she had never seen fit to give her father any goodwill as of late.

Speaking of giving, Christmas meant presents.

Of which she had none.

"Shit," Mei muttered, taking out a notepad and grabbing a pen to scribble with.

* * *

The next day she set out as early as possible, which didn't turn out to be very early at all, only just slipping out of the house when the sun was beginning to touch the horizon.

She had had to wait until she could leave undetected, because no one was going to believe she, Mei Aihara, was going somewhere for fun just for the hell of it. The only reasonable deduction would be that she was out to get presents, and since there was a fifty percent chance she would be caught by Yuzu and not their mother, she had chosen not to test the odds. Instead Mei waited until the blonde left to spend some time with Harumi, saying something about making some last minute, and their mother fell into her daily evening nap.

Pulling the sleeve of her coat back, Mei irritably checked the time. Her train left in half an hour. She had to hurry. Her heels tapped against the concrete sidewalk as she moved as fast as she could without outright running, since she didn't really do much of that in the first place.

There were clouds overhead, but Mei didn't know if they were saturated with rain or snow. Either way, she wanted to get to the mall before the weather hit. It was already freezing cold regardless, and the wind seemed to cut straight through her clothes as she trotted on, drawing the coat more tightly around her slim figure.

Thirty minutes later she all but fell into the last empty seat on a crowded train, squashed between a support pole and a rather large man who was snoring quietly to himself. Mei shifted uncomfortably as the train began to move, the buildings outside sliding by with increasing speed.

She had stayed up late last night coming up with gift ideas for everyone she cared to think twice about. Small boxes of chocolates for her teachers, of course, and a little something for Himeko, as well. Surprisingly enough, Mei also found it within herself to spend some time thinking about a present for Harumi, although it was an admittedly small amount of time, proportionally speaking. She could give them out when school resumed later.

Her mother was a rather simple pick as well, but Yuzu…stupidly enough she was the hardest one. So difficult, in fact, that Mei boarded the train headed into the city's shopping district with no concrete ideas in mind, as she had already crossed out most of the more obvious choices.

Food or make up? As often as Yuzu happened to use those things, it felt a little shallow, not to mention they were both perishable. Mei wanted something more permanent.

Though if she really wanted to get Yuzu something more meaningful, she should have started thinking about this a billion years ago. The thought made guilt sprout inside her like a parasitic flower, and she pasted a hand to her face. Looking outside and seeing all the Christmas decorations decking literally every available surface only intensified the shame. If Harumi found out about this she was never going to hear the end of it.

Soon enough the train stopped at her station, and she got off, shuffled along by the movement of the crowd, who all seemed to share her choice in destination. Apparently more people forgot about Christmas than she had assumed. Or perhaps they were simply inconsiderate of the people around them.

It did occur to Mei that she was currently one of those inconsiderate people, so she shut herself up and instead shouldered her bag, making a beeline for the shopping mall.

She breathed a short sigh of relief when she entered the heated building, her rosy cheeks throbbing gently from the cold. Rubbing her face with both hands, she got to work immediately, taking the elevator up to the second level. She had no time to lose

In order to make as much time to agonize over Yuzu's gift as she could (as she was sure she would), Mei tackled everyone else's presents first. A fancy pen for Himeko, some normal colored hair dye for Harumi (it was a cruel joke, but wasn't she owed the payback?) as well as the chocolates for her teachers. Luckily she wasn't the kind of person to spend money irresponsibly, unlike Yuzu, and she was able to cover her expenses with relative ease.

After all that she took a short break, sitting down at a small bench in the center courtyard of the mall, all of her shopping bags stuffed into one much larger one by her feet. Digging her phone out of her pocket, she checked the time, comforted to find that it was only just past six. She had time.

There was a huge Christmas tree set up in the middle of the courtyard, and Mei craned her neck up to look at it. It was lavishly decorated, with ornaments the size of her chest, and glittering rope thicker than her waist. It rose higher than the second story of the building itself, almost touching the skylight that arched over the ceiling, through which Mei could see the cold light of the moon.

It must have taken a lot of effort to put it all together, she thought, as she sank a little deeper into her seat. The thing probably had to be brought in parts then assembled afterwards. So much work just to celebrate a single day. She didn't see the point.

To be honest, even if her grandfather had been a more festive person, even if she hadn't grown apart from her enigmatic father over the years, Mei thought that she probably would have stopped celebrating Christmas regardless. Every year she felt less and less Christmasy, to the point that she forgot that the damn holiday even existed. If Yuzu hadn't reminded her she would have been screwed tomorrow.

Why was it that such a thing happened? The holiday didn't change. It was the same every time. Was that the heart of the issue? Was it repetitiveness that had worn her to it?

As much as she would have liked to believe that, Mei didn't find it likely. There were plenty of people who were not idiots who took full advantage of the season's spirit no matter how many times it rolled around. Yuzu came to mind, though the blonde tended to get excited about the most childish things, even at her age.

She was adorable like that.

Mei was aware, of course, of the romantic fodder Christmas served as for many people. Even now, as she sat in the middle of the courtyard, it was apparent that most of the people milling around her were walking in pairs. It occurred to her, then, that this might be a chance for her to share how she truly felt about Yuzu.

The idea was exciting in itself, exhilarating even, but as usual her logical half came and crushed it with a hammer. What was she even going to say? And how would the gift tie into it? There was no real plan. As much as Mei might secretly be in love with her sister, she wasn't stupid enough to go into this head first.

Besides, there was always the chance that Yuzu might not feel the same way towards her. The fatal curse of loving a nice girl like Yuzu was the constant danger that she simply treated Mei as well as she would treat anyone. It was hard to tell, sometimes, how special you were to someone like Yuzu, because the blonde tended to be fair to everyone. Generally a positive trait, of course, but in this instance Mei wished her sister were a little more prone to favoritism.

It was probably best to go with a safe gift this year. They were only first years; there would be other opportunities. More time to think this out. The very last thing she wanted to do was mess up what she already had with Yuzu.

Yes, probably best that way.

Her feelings could wait.

Standing up, Mei scooped her bags up with one hand, pausing to look up at the tree again. It seemed to glare back down at her, intimidating in its sheer size, like a great green giant Santa had sent her way to demand that she enjoy the holidays, and with a smile on her face.

The thought was a little too cynical, even for her, and she sighed as she set off in search of Yuzu's gift.

* * *

As she expected, the next two hours were spent hopping aimlessly from store to store.

She initially tried one of those clothing stores Yuzu was so fond of, critically eyeing several articles of clothing before ultimately giving up; Mei didn't have an eye for fashion. People though she dressed "classy" or whichever, with her proper style, but dressing like she was the same age as her grandmother-like soul was not a hard thing to do.

Clothes were Yuzu territory. She felt like a foreign animal within these boundaries. In fact, this mall, the entire shopping district, were part of the blonde's realm. Part of her wished she had brought Yuzu here earlier; they could have chosen out gifts together, and maybe the blonde would even point out something she liked so that Mei didn't have to fry her brains like this.

That sounded like it might have been fun. They could have spent some quality time together.

They could have shared some food.

 _No._ She was getting distracted again. The mall closed earlier on Christmas Eve. She had to hurry.

She drifted to the next store, and then the next, then the next. She even found herself inside a place that sold lingerie for a brief moment, before personal embarrassment drove her out. It wasn't as if Yuzu even wore those kinds of things, anyway.

Right?

At one point Mei even found herself in a bookstore that was stuck deep in the corner of the mall, the scent of mildew wreathing through the shelves as she walked through them. She knew Yuzu didn't do much reading unless it was from a magazine, but maybe she would get the blonde a biology textbook. Lord knew the girl needed help in the sciences.

It occurred to her that the thought was totally lame, even for her, and she left the bookstore with a small huff.

She felt something buzz in her pocket, and she checked the phone to find that Yuzu was calling her. A thumb moved instinctively to answer, but Mei stopped herself just in time. If she answered, Yuzu was almost certainly going to ask where she was. Mei had left the house unannounced, after all. They were bound to be worried, or at least curious.

She couldn't afford the risk.

So Mei let the call go to voicemail, which led to her discovering that Yuzu had actually called her few times prior, her recent call history stacked with the blonde's number.

Sighing, she decided to send a quick text to her mother, if only to ensure that the police wouldn't be out in force tonight. No one wanted to work before Christmas.

 _Don't worry; will be home soon. Had something to do. Don't tell Yuzu._

The message was cryptic, certainly, but it would have to do. Anything more and she would give it all away. Snapping the phone shut, Mei walked determinedly to the next store, intent on finishing this quickly.

She found a potential gift soon after, in a thick woolen scarf that had a big fat letter A sown into it. Wrinkling her nose, Mei held that part of the fabric between her fingers, stretching it out even larger. What the hell was she supposed to tell Yuzu about the letter? That it stood for Aihara? Be proud of your heritage, Yuzu, for it defines who you are!

Like hell. Yuzu had been an Aihara longer than she had. This one was probably a bad idea.

Especially if Yuzu had read the Scarlet Letter, which Mei doubted, but she was taking no chances.

She dug through the rest of the scarves for a moment, and realized that there were other letters as well. Blinking, she searched until she found one with a Y on it instead, holding it in the air in front of her.

White and dark green. It would match her eyes.

Sighing, Mei closed her eyes and approached the register. It was the best thing she had happened upon this entire day. She doubted she would find a more suitable gift in the remaining time. Besides, she already knew that Yuzu's current scarf was starting to look a little beat up.

But she only knew that because she spent so much time secret watching the girl from afar.

* * *

It was snowing when Mei stepped outside.

She blinked in surprise, having not noticed until she was standing right in the thick of it. Snow was lightly dusting the sidewalk beneath her boots, piling up on the sides of the street. It fell slowly, but the drops were thick. It would accumulate in no time.

It was well past nine by now, and the streets were largely empty as Mei hurried through them, keeping her coat closed with one hand. She reached the train station a few minutes later, jogging onto the barren platform, breath billowing before her in the frigid air. It was only getting colder.

Crossing the platform, Mei sat down on a bench and exhaled loudly, tired from all the running around. She set her bags down and rubbed at her eyes, hoping the train would arrive soon.

"Well, fancy meeting you here, Mei."

Looking up, she was stunned to see none other than Matsuri sitting on the bench at the far end, grinning wolfishly at her.

"Mizusawa," Mei murmured, sitting back up. "What are you doing here?"

The girl just pouted, reaching up to adjust the headphones looped around her neck. "You could look a bit happier to see me, you know."

"I would if I was," Mei quipped, folding both hands over her lap. She might have come to terms with Matsuri, but that didn't mean they were necessarily friends.

The younger girl just rolled her eyes, draping her arms across the back of the bench. "Yeah, yeah, I hear you. So what's with all the bags?"

Mei looked down at the small mountain of items by her feet and saw no point in lying. Matsuri would see through it no matter what excuse she came up with. "Just some last minute Christmas shopping."

The girl made that grin again. "Last minute? You? You don't seem the type."

"You'd be surprised," Mei said blandly. Matsuri just chuckled.

"I guess even the great Aihara Mei has her faults," she commented.

Mei didn't feel particularly inclined to respond to that, instead turning to look down the length of the tracks, impatient to board the train and get back home. She didn't really see the value in having idle chit chat with her ex-rival. The rest of the station was truly empty aside from them, and she felt almost achingly alone out here, with nothing but the softly falling snow and a cheeky middle schooler for company.

"Still, I guess you could color me surprised," Matsuri said, for some reason still talking. "I figured you for one of those 'anti-Christmas' types."

"Why are you here, Matsuri?" Mei just sighed, choosing to drop the last name basis, less out of a show of intimacy and more an unwillingness to address the girl respectfully. "Don't tell me you hang around empty train stations?"

"I'm heading back to my hometown for Christmas," Matsuri shrugged. "Folks wanted me to come back earlier, but I'm not very fond of them, so I said no."

Mei pursed her lips. For some reason, it didn't surprise her that Matsuri had a strained relationship with her parents.

"Then why go back at all?" she asked, eyes still glued to the tracks.

Behind her, Matsuri smiled knowingly. "No one wants to spend Christmas alone."

That made Mei pause, her eyes lidding halfway. "Yes, I suppose," she murmured. "Who knows, maybe you'll even stop celebrating it one day, like me."

"I'd rather not," Matsuri said, playing with her exotically colored hair. It seemed to glow against the harsh white of the snowfall. "It's rather sad, the reason why some people get like that."

Mei stared. "What do you mean?"

The girl just held both of her hands up as if the answer were obvious. "Just think about it, Mei. Why is it that some people stop doing anything, especially if it has to do with holidays?"

The older girl frowned. "They don't see the point in it, I suppose."

But Matsuri shook her head, wagging a knowing finger between them.

"No, Mei. They stop because they don't have anyone to spend it with."

Mei's lips parted, struck by those words, as Matsuri raised both arms and stretched, continuing her dialogue. Beside them, the train pulled into the station, its hot engines steaming broodingly in the cold.

"And honestly, I'd rather celebrate Christmas with my shitty family that do nothing all by myself," she finished simply, letting her arms fall back to the bench. "We're social creatures, Mei. Everyone, even people like you and me, weren't built to exist alone forever."

Mei just stared, even as the train doors hissed open, awaiting its passengers.

"You are one disturbingly smart child," she murmured at last, not knowing what else to say.

Matsuri just laughed, apparently flattered. "I know right? I sucks. Innocence can't be refunded."

Mei just shook her head, exasperated if not amused, as the younger girl leaned over and peeked into her bags. "Speaking of which, is there anything in there for me?"

"No," Mei said bluntly, leaving no room for interpretation.

The girl pouted. "Cheapskate."

"Hardly. The fact that I'm gracing you with conversation is a gift in itself."

Matsuri just rolled her eyes again. "Yeah, okay. And my gift to you is making sure you miss your train."

"What?" Mei snapped her head to the side just in time to see the train doors sliding shut in front of her, the engine roaring to life as it began to pull away from the station.

"Jesus!" Mei exclaimed, springing to her feet and sprinting after the train, but it was too late, and soon enough it was gone, vanishing into the unfathomable night. She stood on the edge of the platform, breathing heavily, as the last car disappeared around a corner.

And then they were alone again.

Turning, she glared at Matsuri, who just gazed innocently back.

"Hey, look, you can't blame me for being so interesting to talk to," she reasoned.

Putting a hand to her face, Mei wordlessly gathered her things and began walking away from Matsuri, bags and all.

"What are you doing?" she called after her, standing up on the bench with both hands cupped to her mouth.

"I'm walking!" Mei snapped back, taking the stairs down to the street below. Seriously, what was the kid's problem?

But Matsuri's words stuck in her head, even as she trudged along the length of the sidewalk.

Did she really just hate Christmas because she had always spent it alone?

* * *

It was nearly midnight when Mei finally made it back home, having survived the long arduous walk back home.

She was shivering violently as she shoved the key to the house into the door, almost kicking it aside so she could get inside. Slamming the door shut behind her, she quickly made her way into the living room, intent on getting all the presents wrapped before anybody noticed.

Luckily or not, the living room was actually completely empty. In fact, the whole house felt strangely quiet. Frowning, Mei cast about, noticing that the kitchen light was on. Walking in, she found her mother passed out at the table with her forehead on its surface, snoring softly to herself. She was surrounded by several empty cartons of what appeared to be eggnog.

Approaching the table, she gently shook her mother awake, who came to with a start.

"Huh! Wh-oh, Jesus, my head," her mother grumbled, putting a hand to her temple.

"Mother, what happened to you? Where's Yuzu?" Mei asked softly, staring dubiously at the empty cartons littering the table and floor. Could eggnog really do this to a person?

"Uh…." the older woman slurred, obviously intoxicated. "You-zoo…went to look for Mei. Oh wait, you're Mei. Heh heh. Funny coincidence, that."

Mei frowned in concern. "What have you been drinking?"

"Eggnog!" her mother exclaimed, pointing accusingly at one of the empty cartons.

"Can you get drunk off of eggnog?"

"Um…I think the guy said he mixed it with alcohol."

"The guy? What guy?" Mei asked, incredulous. "And who even sells this kind of thing?"

"Hell if I know?" her mother suggested, before her forehead hit the table again and she was gone, snoring more loudly this time.

Sighing, Mei checked the woman's pulse, and reasoned that she would be fine on her own for a little while. It felt a little ridiculous that Yuzu had chosen to go looking for her, but Mei _had_ told her mother to keep things a secret.

"Back into the cold, I suppose," she muttered, grabbing her coat and heading for the door.

But something stopped her, and she turned to see the pile of bags sitting on the couch. Walking over, she pulled the scarf out, put it in a box, and headed out the door.

The moment she stepped outside her phone went off, and she answered it immediately.

"Hello?"

 _"Mei! Thank god! Where the heck are you?"_

Mei felt the beginnings of a smile tugging at her lips, which she did her best to smother. She didn't want to look like an idiot. "In front of the house, actually. Where are you?"

 _"The house?"_ Yuzu asked, obviously confused. " _I've been looking for you this whole time! Where have you been?"_

"I was just running some errands," Mei murmured, looking up at the sky; it was snowing harder now. "Where are you?"

 _"Oh man, it's cold out here,"_ Yuzu muttered under her breath. _"I'm near the park with the fountain. You know the one?"_

"On my way," Mei promised, her feet already moving in the right direction. It probably would have been more logical to have Yuzu just come home, but Mei wanted to see her as soon as possible.

Soon enough she reached the aforementioned park, its signature fountain situated squarely at its center. Mei walked up to the stone barriers surrounding it before looking around, searching for a familiar blonde head.

She found Yuzu easily enough, but the girl was dressed a little differently than she had expected.

"M-M-Mei!" Yuzu called out, rushing across the park to where her little sister was standing. Her cheeks were rubbed raw by the cold, and her breath wreathed out like a pissed off ghost. She was in her indoor bunny slippers, pajama pants, and nothing but a thin shirt on top. She also appeared to have something brown and vaguely round in one hand, but Mei was more concerned with Yuzu's lack of clothing, especially when it was probably well below thirty degrees.

"H-H-Hey," Yuzu greeted, waving one trembling hand even as her teeth chattered violently.

"Why are you wearing so little?" Mei demanded, yanking her own coat off. "Are you insane?"

"M-M-Maybe," Yuzu said, shivering as Mei threw her coat around the blonde's shoulders, buttoning it all the way up to the chin. "I-I k-kind of ran out w-without thinking."

"Obviously not," Mei sighed, securing the last button. It occurred to her that she had forgotten to let Yuzu put her arms through the sleeves first, leaving the girl effectively mummified inside her coat, but she could care less. Hypothermia was more annoying that restricted arm movement. "You must have looked like an idiot, walking around like this."

"W-Well maybe you sh-shouldn't have wandered off!" Yuzu countered, and Mei bit her lip guiltily. She couldn't defend herself against that. At least Yuzu didn't look as cold as she had a minute ago. The coat was already warm from her own body heat.

"Sorry," Mei murmured, reaching up to cup Yuzu's cheek. The blonde blinked, surprised by the unexpected affection. "I had some things to take care of."

"Like what?" Yuzu asked, her chatter thankfully gone. Little tufts of snow were stuck to the tips of her hair, white on gold.

"Here, this is for you," Mei said instead of answering, pulling the scarf out of its box. Yuzu's eyes widened when she wrapped it around the blonde's neck, looping it once before pausing, gripping the ends of the scarf in both hands.

"Mei?" Yuzu breathed, not knowing what to say. "Are you…woah wait, this scarf is really warm. Like, seriously. Holy crap."

As Yuzu groaned in relief, Mei couldn't help smiling, glad that her gift had been of some use. Maybe she wasn't so hopeless after all.

"Don't forget to dress warmly next time you go out looking for me," Mei reprimanded softly, looping the scarf around one more time. In doing so she drew Yuzu impossibly closer, never letting go of the ends of the scarf as they pressed flushed against each other, illuminated by the light of the fountain.

"Um, right," Yuzu murmured, obviously flustered by their proximity, which made Mei's heart flutter in return. "I'll…uh, invest in a juggernaut suit, or something."

"A coat will do just fine," Mei whispered, bumping their cold noses together teasingly. She didn't know why she was suddenly feeling so courageous. But she felt…eager. Happy, even.

Yuzu laughed sheepishly, the rosiness on her cheeks catching Mei's eyes. "Yeah, I guess," she admitted. "Oh, that reminds me!"

Blinking, Mei pulled back a bit as Yuzu shifted inside her coat-cocoon, obviously attempting to moving something around inside. A moment later something brown and round poked out from Yuzu's collar, and Mei looked down to get a better look.

It was the head of a teddy bear, a rather adorable one, its stitching hand done and obviously fresh.

"I spent the last few weeks making him," Yuzu said shyly, giving the bear a little wiggle. "I was putting the finishing touches on when I decided to go look for you…you can name him whatever you want. He's yours, after all."

As it turned out, she was terrible at sewing, but absolutely adored teddy bears. Both facts that she took great care to hide from everyone, as it was rather embarrassing, but Yuzu had picked up on it anyway. There were so many things Yuzu knew about her, and Mei's understanding of the blonde paled in comparison. If anything it was a testament to her inability to pay attention to the people around her. She liked Yuzu so much, loved her even, yet she couldn't even return the happiness the blonde gave her.

"Mei?" Yuzu breathed as her younger sister began to wipe distractedly at her eyes, taken by a sudden upheaval of emotion.

"It's nothing. I'm fine," Mei muttered, trying to hide her face.

"Do you not like him?" Yuzu fretted, pulling the bear closer to her chest. "I guess I store bought one would have been cuter…if you want I could-"

"No!" Mei interrupted her. "No, it's perfect," she assured, reaching out and squeezing the bear's ear affectionately. "I love him."

"Oh," Yuzu sighed, relieved. "That's great! But then…what's wrong?"

"I'm just…" Mei took a deep breath in the middle of her sentence, still trying to keep herself in check. "Not that great at all this Christmas business."

But Yuzu just smiled lovingly at her, in a way that made Mei's heart palpitate. Those colors really did match her eyes. "Oh, Mei. You don't have to worry so much about it. Everybody wants something."

That was so true, Mei thought, as her fingers curled around the end of the scarf, tugging Yuzu a little closer. Even Matsuri, in all her cold and disillusioned disposition, wanted something, and that was to not be alone, whether it be with Yuzu or her detestable family.

 _They stop because they don't have anyone to spend it with_. Was that all she really wanted? Someone to spend it with? If she had that, could she enjoy this time of year, and even the rest of life, with as much vigor as the happiest of people?

Could she be happy?

The thought felt warped in her mind, because she had always been prolonging happiness, putting it off, waiting for it to come her way. She had always feared that if she kept doing that, she would end up sad and alone, much like Matsuri was in danger of becoming. She didn't want to kind of future for herself.

The only question was whether she was strong enough to avoid it.

"Then is it okay to ask you for a little more?" Mei whispered, pulling Yuzu as close as she dared, eyes meeting those emerald pools, then past her nose, down to those lips she had dreamed about for the past year.

They were intoxicatingly close, and not even the cold could separate them now, as Yuzu raised the bear a little higher and pressed it against Mei's lips.

"Anything, Mei. You can ask me for anything."

When they kissed at last, suddenly the cold seemed nonexistent to them.

And as Mei felt Yuzu's hands slipping out of the coat and lacing themselves in her hair, she thought that Christmas wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

I actually wasn't planning to post anything for Christmas this year, but it was around midnight, I had nothing to do, and I don't sleep until 3am anyways, so I thought, why the hell not?

As always, this chapter was cranked out at breakneck speed. As such one should expected an army of typos and no central theme to speak of, as these are issues I am currently too tired to amend.

On a more random note, I am going to try writing something original! Nothing solid yet, but it's going to involve death, angst, sarcasm, cold places, and of course lesbians. Maybe even the apocalypse, but I'm not too sure yet. We'll see!

Merry Christmas!

~Banshee


End file.
